The more I read about attachment theory (psychology) the more I feel it explains Trump, who seems like the classic dismissive avoidant attachment style - one that comes out of neglect and abuse. https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/jun/16/mary-trump-book-too-much-never-enough-trauma-neglect-abuse-family-details

A thread on that here: https://twitter.com/moorehn/status/1268239073757605894?s=21 https://twitter.com/moorehn/status/1268239073757605894

The main avoidant styles are dismissive avoidants - they learned not to expect help from anyone so they trust only themselves and they reject love - and fearful/anxious avoidants, who crave love but find it scary bc it implies heartbreak. Anyway everyone read this book pls.

Dismissive avoidants also frequently seem like sufferers of narcissistic personality disorder. Thaïs Gibson, a therapist with a YouTube channel, has more on that confusion here:

And here are the personality traits of dismissive avoidant attachment style. They tend to be highly irritable, annoyed, withdraw from other people, and will lash out at criticism.

There's also fearful avoidant, who often felt like they had to protect caregivers and became hypervigilant to anticipate others' needs. To them, intimacy implies putting their own needs aside. They're high achievers who feel they have to "earn" love.

My most controversial literary opinion is: Normal People's Connor and Marianne are both fearful avoidants. Hypervigilant, giving. Communication breaks the barrier for fearful avoidants, and that's where Connor fails bc he's afraid to state his needs.

Anyway, stan attachment theory for clear skin. It really builds so much compassion for people. And everyone should be in therapy to understand how they keep replaying childhood patterns of safety-seeking and help "re-parent" the original wounds.

Btw, statistics say that 60% of people are securely attached, which means they can state their needs and keep good boundaries. The way for avoidants (or anxious styles!) to get better is open communication and therapy to help the original wounds but Trump will never go

Also I'm not a therapist obviously so take all this with a grain of salt and go see a professional who specializes in attachment theory. IMO it's wildly effective because it changes behavior, decreases fear and increases security by addressing the root causes.

*stares directly into camera* Attachment theory doesn't miss

https://twitter.com/latimes/status/1280570529515216897?s=21 https://twitter.com/latimes/status/1280570529515216897