#TheWeekInTory

1: Govt issued rules to quarantine new arrivals

2: Their definition of "quarantine" allows popping out for food, using public transport, and moving house

3: Told us 113 people died the day lockdown was relaxed

4: It was actually 556, the highest for a month

5: Said it was safe to relax the lockdown because infections were down

6: Infections are at least 900% higher than the day the lockdown was started

7: Refused to release a report into high BAME deaths, because there's too much racism right now to let them address race issues

8: Stopped electronic voting in parliament because it's "undemocratic" if MPs aren't standing behind Boris Johnson, yelling during PMQs

9: Italy's parliament has been successfully doing electronic voting throughout the lockdown

10: The Lords are still doing electronic voting

11: Plan to re-open parliament means that to vote, MPs must form a 1.3km socially-distanced queue out of parliament and up the road

12: There are no provisions for ill or vulnerable MPs, so those MPs can't vote

13: So their constituents now have no representation in parliament

14: Boris Johnson was reported as saying Dominic Cummings is on his "final warning"

15: 12 hours later, it was reported the house Cummings visited is his second home, might not have planning permission, and doesn't pay council tax

16: Boris Johnson did nothing

17: Boris Johnson said the public would decide what to do about Dominic Cummings

18: 81% of public think Cummings broke the rules

19: 69% of the public think Cumming should be sacked

20: Boris Johnson did nothing

21: The gov continued to claim it was guided by the science

22: Half of the SAGE scientific advisory committee publicly pleaded with the gov not to relax the lockdown

24: Two SAGE spokespeople openly criticised Dominic Cummings during briefings

25: Boris Johnson did nothing

26: Housing minister admitted unlawfully signing off a dodgy £1bn development by a Tory donor

27: The police have been called to investigate, but he remains a govt minister, in spite of admitting illegal activity and possible corruption

28: Boris Johnson did nothing

30: The govt repeatedly uses the phrase "our apparent success" in tackling Coronavirus

31: We have 65,000 excess deaths

32: This is the highest in Europe, and second-highest daily deaths per-capita worldwide

33: So obviously, we re-opened Ikea

34: The govt said they weren't re-opening playgrounds, because children from different households might wipe snot on the slides

35: They re-opened primary schools, where children from different households wipe snot on literally everything

36: The govt refused to consider delaying Brexit, even though they accept we will not be ready, it will cause a hard border down the Irish sea, and no deal will cut GDP by 10% for a decade

37: This is because they say we can make a great deal with America

38: America is on fire

39: The AI firm that helped Vote Leave win Brexit has been handed a govt contract to handle citizen's data, but nobody knows what it is, because it's redacted

40: The UK Statistics Authority announced the govt is habitually misleading the public on Coronavirus

41: The Health Secretary celebrated a "capacity" of 200,000 tests, but for a week has refused to say how many tests are actually being done

42: We are still counting each person tested as 2 separate tests - one nasal, one throat. So even if it is 200,000, it means 100,000 people

43: We still have no tracing app, the manual tracing scheme isn't functioning, and many of its operators have had only 2 hours training from a promised - and insufficient - 8 hours

44: Matt Hancock laughed for 1 minute and 12 seconds when confronted with this on live television

45: We were told scam calls would be obvious, because tracing operators "speak professionally"

46: The former chief prosecutor Nazir Afzal said: “I spent a lifetime prosecuting people speaking professionally while taking your money and your lives"

47: The Health Secretary said dentists could go back to work, which was a shock to dentists because they hadn't been told they could re-open

48: The lockdown for those "shielding" vulnerable people was relaxed without telling the BMA, GPs, or updating govt's own written advice

48: The Health Secretary said horse-racing starting again was "wonderful news" on the day we reached 60,000 excess deaths

49: The Chancellor said Nandos re-opening was "the news we were all hoping for" on the day we reached 61,000 excess deaths.

50. We relaxed lockdown from Level 4 to Level 3, and plan to relax down to Level 1, on the advice of the Joint Biosecurity Centre

51: Matt Hancock revealed the Joint Biosecurity Centre doesn't exist yet

52: It is 125 days since our first case. We've had 4 months of this