THREAD: A year ago today I tweeted this about my time in Ayia Napa in 2007 as a Christina Aguilera tribute act. THIS thread is about what it was like tweeting THAT thread. Meta AF.

Background: I joined Twitter in 2009 just as I started stand-up comedy and just before I did a post-grad at the Royal Academy of Music. In 10 years on Twitter I’d amassed 5000 followers with my blend of shitposting about politics, Sonic and memories of stuff from 1992.

This first tweet in the thread immediately started getting RTs which I didn't expect and I quickly gained 100 new followers. I thought this was AMAZING and started adding more about life in Ayia Napa. I think it’s weird that this is the most relatable thing I’ve ever tweeted btw.

By the evening things were really kicking off. I got RT’d by Jennifer Saunders and Caitlin Moran! People I really respected in the industry were going “this should be a sitcom!”. I REALLY LIKE ATTENTION so this was all super-fun and also glamorous.

I carried on adding Ayia Napa memories to the thread. By the following morning I was at 10k followers and more cool celebrities were RTing it! Ed Miliband MY FAVOURITE MILIBAND said “Sooz Kempner is the anti-Donald Trump” on his podcast. I punched the air. https://twitter.com/CheerfulPodcast/status/1139863844988379137

Then Piers Morgan RT’d it and the 100% positive feedback I was getting changed coz his followers called me a whinger, a liar and ugly. I’ll be honest with you, it was very funny. Coz IMAGINE making all that stuff up, WHAT a weird lie. And just evidence of me being super creative!

In the afternoon of this second day I got a DM from someone EXTREMELY famous asking if I’d be interested in developing my crazy story as a TV sitcom. Meetings were set up with him and with literary agents coz lord knows I now needed one!

I felt like I was in a mad dream. I was 34 and I’d never had interest within the industry like this before and it felt like I’d slogged for 15 years to become an overnight success. My Twitter following was up to over 20k at this point.

Hugh Bonneville asked to be in the sitcom. He remains my number one choice to be Elvis.

I had a gig that night at the Soho Theatre and got on the train to London. One of the literary agents I sent writing samples to offered to sign me on the spot. On the train home I thought about the amazing 36 hours I’d had.

Then the most Sooz Kempner thing of all time happened.

I was dimly aware of woman coming down the aisle of the train towards me with her hands over her mouth. As she drew level with me she fully vomited. It sprayed out the side of her hands and was in my hair, on my face and on my jacket.

“I’VE GOT SICK ON ME!”. Strangers cleaned me up with wet wipes like I was 3. Luckily I’m not squeamish and all I could do was double over with laughter coz nothing is more Sooz Kempner than my dreams coming true and then immediately getting covered in sick.

In the year since that initial tweet I’ve had my Ayia Napa story optioned (which isn’t the same as it getting made but fingers crossed watch this space etc etc) and I hope beyond hope that there is more to come from your ol’ pal Sooz. Thanks, Twitter!

If you like what I do, have a couple of quid to spare and want access to full-length shows I’ve done etc my Patreon is here: http://patreon.com/SoozUK .

And to everyone who is cool AF on Twitter...there CAN be a better world. I'm not giving up on that and neither should you x