[THREAD] let’s talk about growing up with one (or both) parents who display narcissistic personality disorder or narcissistic tendencies. This topic is very heavy and the consequences can be far reaching. Generally speaking, a narcissistic parent will not their kid(s) overshadow

them. The child becomes an object for the grandiose behaviour of the parent. They use the child to gather sympathy from others when it suits them or display them to make them look good. The child becomes an object that suits the purposes of the parent. In a household with more

than one child, the narcissistic parent will pit the children against one another to see who will be the one who will please the parent the most. The one that always does what the parent says becomes a “golden child”. They are the one that can be malleable and suits the purpose.

The child that resists the most or doesn’t play along is commonly known as “the black sheep”. The parent will pretend that this child gives them too much hardship, that they are trying the best by that child but it seems like a lost cause to gather sympathy from others. This

dynamic creates a lot of conflict within the household and there are many mental health consequences for both the “golden child” and the “black sheep”. Let’s remember at that point that children are unaware of what is going on. They can’t put words to what they are experiencing.

Growing up in that environment leads to a lot of trauma, lack of self-esteem, a general distrust of others or thinking that relationships are transactional. Sometimes, that pattern can continue in future generations, but at other times, there is a recognition that what happened

was wrong. Children learn that manipulation and guilting are efficient ways to get what they want. They are less likely to learn empathy or grow up in a nurturing environment and this can show when they later have their own friendships and romantic relationships.

In terms of solutions, recognizing that a parent may have been narcissistic is a great first step. The child realizes that what they went through was not normal and that there is another way when it comes to relationships that is healthier and happier. The main issue becomes

learning all the new ways to act, to love and to see the world, while also working on recovering from trauma, depression, and lack of self-esteem. While this may sound daunting, it generally takes place over a longer period of time, and it is possible to recover and live a very

fulfilling and happy life. If you suspect that you grew up in a narcissistic environment, it is important to remove yourself from that environment as soon as possible and go to therapy for an extended period of time in order to unlearn many of these behaviours and recover from

the consequences of growing up with a narcissistic parent. As always, if you have any questions, I am around to answer them. Hope this was a little informative

Credit goes to @badassflowerbby for asking to write about this topic