if i had followed my dreams and started a 72-hole mini golf facility in cave creek AZ i could be riding out this pandemic all alone in my failed desert entertainment compound, loaded up to the gills on forgivable small business loans, blasting whip-its and riding go-karts all day

2044 netflix documentary putt putt woman about my eccentric life as the putt putt maven of the southwest and the weird murder cult following that protects me

1. sink token into slow pitch batting cage machine
2. take 16 swings in baking hot sun
3. use manager's key to get token back
4. repeat for 8 hours

for a bottle of oxys a week i let a pharmacist's kid use the fast pitch cage so Braxton will be "game ready" when his traveling team starts back up

2 hour standoff in the parking lot with the sheriff's department, finally surrendering my AR-15 when i find out all they want is the hand sanitizer in the arcade

opening the park up with "social distancing measures in place", no parties larger than 6 allowed on each hole

haphazard blue painter's tape circles on the ground about one putter's length apart