I don& #39;t want to attach this to my thread earlier but, pure speculation: I wonder if the issue around men not helping their wives/gfs not taking care of their kids

is actually

men not realizing that nurturing is the new form of providing/protecting that used to be done with $$

i.e., in popular culture a straight man& #39;s role was always to "provide," which meant a financial role, and if he did that, the job was done.

But now women make their own money too, so what& #39;s required of men is "providing" and protecting through emotional labor.

I haven& #39;t thought this through entirely, just throwing out the idea for discussion, but I& #39;m always interested in how we can draw a link from men being uninvolved to changing gender roles over time.

Calling in @kate_manne as this probably needs some of her wisdom and expertise.

And it may be that men have done little and even less in the past, it& #39;s just now that women are leaving them for it. Now a man who does nothing gets himself divorced by his wife. (See the many replies to my previous thread)