It's been a while since I've talked about this unsolicited advice thing, and now seems like as good a time as any.

So read on for a quick overview of when and how to give advice in #NEISvoid (and also maybe in general).

1/ https://twitter.com/bennessb/status/1237000176574873600

So first of all, if somebody is screaming into the void about a symptom like "I hate this headache!" then it's probably safe to assume they are not looking for advice. More likely they need a space to vent.

This is a good time to maybe offer some solidarity and move on.

2/

Sometimes people vent about symptoms in really specific ways that sound familiar to you. Like, "I hate this headache that only happens during the full moon and nothing helps!"

But STILL, offer solidarity. If something helped you with this, don't assume they haven't tried it.

3/

But I get it, maybe you found something that CHANGED YOUR LIFE and dramatically improved your full moon headaches.

This is a great time to say something like "Full moon headaches are the worst! I've tried lots of things so let me know if you ever want to compare notes."

4/

And sometimes people DO want to compare notes, so you can dive in now that you have consent.

Or, sometimes people are specifically asking for advice, which makes things simpler.

But! Even when your advice has been solicited, there's a few things to remember.

5/

I hope we all know this by now, but remember that what works for you won't work for everybody.

Some reasons for this include:
- underlying causes might be different
- bodies respond differently
- variability of available resources
- privilege may impact outcomes

6/

I bet many of us have received advice that really fucking hurt, because regardless of intent there can be an underlying implication that we just aren't trying hard enough.

So regardless of your intent, remember that. You're talking to someone who's trying real fucking hard.

7/7