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I& #39;m always surprised that not everyone with #ADHD knows about RSD (Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria) and it& #39;s like, a real important part of having ADHD. Let& #39;s break it down!
while not officially in the DSM as part of having ADHD, RSD is widely known to impact many, if not all, ADHDers. It& #39;s the perception that one is being criticized or rejected as a result of neutral stimuli.
so for example, you ask me how I& #39;m doing today, I reply, "fine" with a neutral/not smiling face - and your brain immediately goes to "oh God, is she mad at me? She must be mad at me. Did I do something wrong? Did I say something rude the last time we hung out?"
Maybe it& #39;s a curt email from a boss or employee, or a lukewarm reception to a gift you gave someone, or a response to something you said. It kickstarts a cycle of rumination & cyclical obsessing about yourself and others that is a one way ticket to emotional dysregulationsville
If you& #39;ve ever been told "youre too sensitive", "toughen up" "get thicker skin" or "stop letting people bother you", you know what i& #39;m talking about.
here& #39;s the thing - RSD is insidious. I would argue it is perhaps the most damaging aspect of having ADHD.
here& #39;s the thing - RSD is insidious. I would argue it is perhaps the most damaging aspect of having ADHD.
RSD has cost me more than forgetting, lack of focus & time blindness combined. Not only has RSD cost me relationships in my life that I *didn& #39;t* need to trash but did anyway, but all the emotional pain & obsessing that comes with that and the physical stress associated with that.
If you don& #39;t know, you don& #39;t know - hours spent stuck in emotional torture over one wrong thing you think you MAYBE said but aren& #39;t sure, making a tiny problem WAY WORSE than it needs to be, knowing you& #39;re blowing things out of proportion but not being able to stop yourself
It& #39;s impossible to have healthy self esteem and good boundaries when you are suffering from RSD, because everyone& #39;s opinion of you is inherently more important than yours & you are in constant crisis mode so boundaries seem moot (whic makes a lot of social problems worse)
It& #39;s not easy to change, but it& #39;s not a curse and it& #39;s not impossible. One thing a lot of clients have told me is that the medication guanfacine apparently helps a lot with this but I have never taken it. I& #39;m fascinated by the idea that this could be treated pharmacologically.
For myself, working on the pieces around emotional regulation, boundaries & self-esteem helped to alleviate the RSD. It& #39;s like my emotions were a see-saw and the RSD was really heavy and all three of the others were on the opposite end and I just had to keep fattening them up
Eventually the scale tipped and one day I was able to *NOT* impulsively explode a friendship, quit a job or have a meltdown where I was sure someone hated me. One day I just realized that I could be OK even if someone else didn& #39;t like me and that it was probably fine.
If this rings true for you, definitely do more reading on Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria. I found that just understanding it was the biggest key to stopping the patterns of interacting with others that were really harmful to me.
