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It’s 1:46am and I could go to sleep but Netflix has suggested Chasing Amy, the movie I will never forgive Kevin Smith, Ben Affleck, and the 90s for creating.
Im not going to make it through this movie. I’m already mad they listed it as “LGBTQ movies” not what it is, a douche bro masturbatory fantasy wherein the even the lesbian world revolves around their dicks.
Jason Lee is also suspect. Joey Lauren Adams is forgiven obviously. She seems nice. Were all show intros this long? This movie has like four paid actors in it. The rest of them were just hanging out and Kevin was like oh, you’re in a movie now.
We’re 9:38 in and jason lee’s already dropped a “faggot” but it’s okay. He’s like, cool with the “faggot.”
Of course Ben Affleck’s character’s named Holden. Someone read a whole book.
17:36 we get a second “faggot” from Mr. Lee.
Fuckin Meow Mix. I did coke in that bathroom.
“Idiosyncratic Routine” is a dead on zine name though. Not one anyone read. But def correctly named.
27:10. I’m out. She said “fuck” and now jason wants to know how that’s possible but she’s happy to explain. Holy fuck this movie should be burned, erased, purged and everyone involved should have to live out their lives in silence so they can think about what they did.
Oh god god of course she’s never used a strap on. How could you possibly replace a dick.
And at 33:00 we get jason dropping a “dyke.” I reserve the right, if I ever come across Kevin or jason, to punch them in the fucking face.
I’m really out now. Jason Lee gives this cool monologue about how “fags” he understands because dicks but all women need is a good deep dicking then Kevin goes on to prove the irrefutable fact for every shithead bro who watched this crap. Fuck Kevin Smith forever.
Clerks sucked too.
