Happy Shakespeare's birthday. I'll be celebrating by thrusting my crotch every few minutes to let you know the incomprehensible joke I just made was actually about knobs
Truly sirrah this thing is no lizard yet it winketh and releases golden dew!
(thrusts)
This pretty pipe betwixt my thighs is like unto a pink eel that spits forth custard in its longing
*thrusts*
I wouldst slip my PEELED SNAKE into dank caves of ecstacy where it may dribble freely
*thrusts*
As a javelin tossed by grecians bold into a tower of dung, so shall be my birthday, if I behave myself
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