Read on Twitter
Okay Twitter, here's what's been going on with me: a thread. I will start with some back ground info, so hang tight. 1/13
My entire post-pubescent life I was overweight or obese. My heaviest was 270lbs, but I spent most of that time fluctuating between 215lbs and 245lbs. I was a binge eater, at 23 I was diagnosed with #bulimia. I would try to loose weight, it would always come roaring back. 2/13
In July of 2018 my husband and I went to NOLA and I weighed 240lbs. It was hot, I was miserable, I could barely keep up with him. I had been dealing widespread pain, GERD, severe headaches, etc. All health problems caused by my obesity. 3/13
When we returned home I decided enough was enough and drastically changed my diet and began regular exercise. Working against my #eatingdisorder was hard and I'm still working everyday. I lost over 100lbs, hitting a normal BMI in August 2019 & goal weight of 130 by October. 4/13
I have *essentially* maintained that weight for 6 months. Of course, I've had fluctuations, but since October, I have remained under 140, mostly under 135 except during my time of the month (totally normal). So, I should be really proud of myself and I am!!! 5/13
When I was working, I was extremely active both at work and outside of work, walking everywhere and burning tons of calories, which allowed me to eat a fair amount without gaining any weight. 6/13
Since I've been #StayingAtHome, of course my activity has decreased substantially, by about 1000 calories. I've also been heavily tested by the ghosts of my eating disorder. I had gotten used to being able to eat a lot, and now suddenly, if I don't want weight gain, I can't. 7/13
I think I've adjusted *fairly* well, I'm back on a regular #IntermittentFasting schedule and that helps. I haven't gained any weight. Great, right? Okay, we are finally getting to the thick of this thread... 8/13
Why in the ever loving heck do I even care about weight gain right now???? I'm very healthy, I don't consume sugar or refined carbs literally ever, I eat lots of protien and fiber regardless of my calorie intake and NO ONE EVER SEES ME! 9/13
My husband doesn't care, why should I? As long as the foods I eat are healthy and my body feels good, it shouldn't matter. The way my body *looks* at a low weight should be irrelevant because 1. I'm married, and 2. NO ONE EVER SEES ME. 10/13
I feel guilty worrying about this and I wonder if I'm making myself feel worse by continuing to follow the rules I set for myself during my "regular" high activity life before #SocialDistancing. It doesn't matter! There are MUCH bigger fish to fry, right now. 11/13
Okay, so for those of you who bothered to even read this whole damn thing, let me ask you: am I silly for continuing to be concerned with specific numbers right now? As long as the individual foods I eat are health, I should be okay in the end, right? 12/13
I just feel so ridiculous, my little worried about gaining weight when there are people dealing MUCH larger issues, dealing with death, illness, financial fears, loss, etc. I'm sorry this rant is long, but I just thought I'd share what's been going on with me. 13/13
