It’s Easter today which seems like a *great* day to watch Alien. How’s about at 3pm EST?

I’ve somehow never seen any of the Alien franchise so while I am pretty sure this image is relevant... I cannot be sure.

Stay tuned later this morning for our FEELS LIKE THE FIRST TIME episode on what I *think* might happen in Alien! Wheeeeeeeee!!

WOW even Sigourney Weaver is on board for today’s Easter viewing of Alien. Remarkable. https://twitter.com/sigourneywruss/status/1249010576002560001?s=21 https://twitter.com/sigourneywruss/status/1249010576002560001

Here you go alien babies:

Buffering: https://www.patreon.com/posts/35897870 

Storm: https://www.patreon.com/posts/35917877 

Just a reminder that it is possible (no one thought it could be done!) that I may be even gayer in about 2 hours...

Hitting play over here on Alien in ten minutes!

AND WE ARE OFF

Title reveal cool as shittttt

Confirmed: There is an Earth

Also: May I call this ship the Nostradamus

Since meeting @jowrotethis I have been on the insides of COUNTLESS space ships, I must say

OH SHIT POD PEOPLE

Do they wear diapers to bed also these pods look absolutely amazing

THE CAT THE CAT THE CAT THE CAT

Omg one of these astronauts is that creepy patriarchal dude from Big Love right?!

I think I’m gonna get in big trouble here but this space ship is WAY cooler than the Millenium Falcon

*hides under bed*

1970s Astronaut Priorities:

- smoke
- eat cereal
- fly spaceship

This movie from 1979 is passing the Bechdel Test, remarkable, you love to see it

JOANNA SOMEONE IS NAMED MOTHER BUT IT DOES NOT APPEAR TO BE AN ALIEN

Computers were so much cooler in 1979 : (

If someone would just tell them they are in a movie called Alien I feel like they’d be more prepared

RIPLEY: “Locked and floating.”

ME: “That’s what she said!!!”

NO ONE:

Uh oh this doesn’t seem like they stuck the landing guys

Where is the cat and where does the cat sleep does he have a small cat pod also does he have an antigravity litter box

Now that the ship crashed and people are gonna go walking outside on the methane alien planet I’m REALLY thankful they have their cigarettes tbh

Ripley seems to curse as much as me which means we are compatible as wives, great news

IS RIPLEY WEARING SPACE CONVERSE

this movie fucking rules

Never a good sign when you run into one of those double sided dildo spaceships never a good sign folks

I suppose you could also call it a horseshoe but that’s not nearly as fun

They are getting FAR TOO CLOSE to this fossilized alien and I’ll tell you how I know: once when I was a kid I threw pebbles at a locust bc I thought it was dead and then BAM! LOCUST FLEW AT MY FACE!

an Easter egg hunt hath begun I do not like the odds here these eggs don’t seem VERY COLORFUL AT ALL

AHHHHHHHH GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM THAT EGG AHHHHHH

Dude I told you wtf

If any of the aliens touches that fucking cat I’ll lose my goddamn mind

Too real, Ripster, too real

I’m sorry for calling her Ripster but I can’t undo it now

BRAINHUGGER RIGHT

LOOKS LIKE A BRAINHUGGER @jowrotethis

I’m gonna puuuuuuke stop touching the aliens digits barf barf barf barf

I HATE THE FACE ALIEN

Ripley telling Ash where to stick it is my sexuality

Did ash just say “I’ve got this under control” and then CHUG A GLASS OF FUCKING MILK?

They are all wearing space converse and after this I plan to make myself a wardrobe for quarantine using only these space looks as inspiration

OH NO THE FACE ALIEN IS GONE THIS IS JUST LIKE WHEN MY SISTER’S HAMSTER GOT OUT EXCEPT HER HAMSTER WOULDNT SUCK OUR BRAINS *SOB OF TERROR*

This movie is definitely the inspiration for Buffy’s Bad Eggs

WHERE IS THE GODDAMN CAT

this is a great film for my anxiety

STOP POKING IT ASH YOU FUCK

Ash is gonna die a bad death isn’t he

Big fan of whoever decorated the bottom of the Nostradamus with little Christmas lights.

RIPLEY: “Struts retract.”

ME: “That’s what she said.”

NO ONE:

Ten months and they brought the “dead” alien with them great job guys sheesh

Is Kane wearing lingerie?
Kane is the alien now right?
Is his name Kane?

OH FUCK IS HE GONNA PUKE AN ALIEN

ohhhhhhhrighhhhhtttttt this is the

So how was your Easter, Kristin?

WELL

If someone doesn’t tell me where the fucking cat is soon I’m gonna lose my shit

An aside: I can never see Veronica Cartwright in *anything* without thinking of her puking up cherry pits sorry sorry sorry

“Micro changes in air density MY ASS” - Ripley, my wife

Once my sister & her friend had an opossum in their apartment & they had to find it but were scared so my sister pushed her friend on a rolling chair after duct taping two full bottles of Fiji water to her own feet to “keep her off the floor” which is a method I recc for Ripley

JONESIE

Which according to you all is the name of the cat, who I thought was named Scout which... basically same

Big scene for the cat, I’ve been waiting for this, DO NOT FUCK WITH HIM RIDLEY SCOTT OR I WILL COME FOR YOU

Between sweat, water, and goo, this is an extremely moist movie

Can anyone just SHAKE THE CAT TREATS ffs

UMMMMMMMMMMMMM

UHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Okay sure sure sure sure I’m fine you’re fine everything is fine (except Brett who does not seem fine)

Did Ash just call the alien... Kane’s son

Someone eject Ash

Lol Dallas is like Alexa can you kill the alien and Alexa is like HAHAHA WHAT NO good luck tho

Dallas we have a problem

Here for this fucking flame thrower that would have also been my weapon of choice

I hope before this is over someone lights their cigarette with the flame thrower

LAMBERT: *panic voice* oh god it’s moving right towards you!!!

DALLAS: uhhhhhhhhhhh

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHBBBHBBBBNHS

And
Then
We’ll
Blow
It
The
Fuck
Outta
Space

more like pain in the ash am I right

OH NO
ASH IS DRIPPING MILK
ASH MUST BE AN ANDROID
AND
THE INSIDES OF ANDROIDS MUST
BE

MILK?!!?!!!?

ALSO DO NOT LIKE THE INSIDES OF SQUEALING ANDROIDS

Omg barf barf barf someone PLEASE WIPE HIS MILK FACE imma puke

I am
gonna
throw
up
STOP PANNING TO ASH I BEG

Is Ash the inspiration for the Got Milk campaign of the 80s though

Don’t let Jonesy get near Ash, cats love milk

LOVE TO SEE RIPLEY PULL HER HAIR BACK TO FIGHT THE ALIEN

So just to be clear, in this movie about space aliens made in 1979 the last surviving crew members out of 7 + a cat are a black man, two women, and the cat.

All the white dudes are dead.

THAT IS PRETTY COOL GUYS.

FINALLY someone has put Jones in his carrier

uh oh uh oh uh oh uh oh

THIS IS THE WETTEST ALIEN OF ALL TIME GET SOME GODDAMN TOWELS

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

OH NO WE ARE DOWN TO ONE RIPLEY ONE CAT ONE WET ALIEN

sound design in this movie is fucking phenomenal

Get your cat and run Rip!!!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

HAS ANYONE TRIED THROWING SALT ON THE ALIEN

Oh snap Ripley has the FLAME THROWERRRR

really thought for a moment that she was also still carrying the cat in his carrier

Omg HAHAHAHA SHE IS SHE IS SHE IS

Jones

Wow they really did name the cat Indiana

Come ON we made it this WHOLE MOVIE and now she’s in underwear COME ON

WHAT THE FUCK GUYS THE ALIEN IS STILL HERE I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING WHAT

Oh god what about Jones where is his HELMET RIPLEY

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

KILL THIS BITCH GODDDD

p sure I didn’t breathe for at least two full minutes

THEY MADE IT

My review of Alien:

Fuck yeah
Hell yeah
Yes
Definitely
Absolutely
Woooooooooo

I’ve decided to continue the thread for my viewing of ALIENS w @jowrotethis because I am very powerful and no one can stop me.

Things:

- We start in 10 minutes!

- We are watching the theatrical version which is 2:17 long

- I’ll be pausing OCCASIONALLY so I can tweet along

Also rumor has it I will, SOMEHOW, be even GAYER in a couple hours. It seems Lindsay Lohan was right... the limit truly does not exist.

IT HAS BEGUN, BRING ME MY SWEET BABY JONESY

PAUL REISER?!!!!!!!

A L () E N S

everything is so glittery
which I like
but feels ominous

I hope before I die I get to saw through metal or glass with a perfect blade of fire is that so much to ask

Sleeeeeping Beauty and her PURRRRFECT JONESY

How is her hair shorter than it was before

OMG PAUL REISER IS JONESY’S HANDLER

oh no this is just like flight of the navigator

FIFTY SEVEN YEARS

I can’t believe Jonesy is at least 58 years old

Lambert’s picture over her shoulder as she’s like FUCK YOU IT WAS A FUCKING ALIEN YOU DUDS was a nice touch

Bunch of new dumb white dudes, cool cool cool, we are all gonna be safe great

How GOOD do you think that first post freeze cigarette tasted though

Ripley in her robe with ever-shorter hair, stirring her coffee as she rolls her eyes at Paul Reiser is a fucking lesbian ass MOOD

Don’t call her kiddo, Paul, go marry Helen Hunt and get outta here already

Gus and Jones just meowed at the same time that’s all that’s the tweet

Oh no it’s already getting moister

Has there ever BEEN a more beautiful J A W L I N E

Hahahahaha the gayest Ripley has been so far is when she endearingly called Jonesy a shithead

JUST SOME CASUAL PULL-UPS NO BIG DEAL AHHHHHHHH

Oh Vasquez is going to be a problem for me I already married Ripley what a conflict phewf

not for nothing but there are way too many people on this ship so I hope the alien(s) take out a few right quick just for good measure

is Bishop full of milk

VASQUEZ’S FINGERLESS GLOVES

oh mannnnn I can’t wait for them to kissssssssszzz

I can’t believe Aliens is a movie about a bunch of lesbians on a space mission and no one told me

Transformerrrr more than meeets the EYEEE

AHAHAHAHAHA RIPLEY SAYING WHERE DO YOU WANT IT FROM INSIDE THE MACHINE

Scratch everything I’ve ever said my sexuality is the glistening tricep of Vasquez, final answer

I hope at some point Ripley looks across the table at everyone and says, “in the last movie all the white dudes died first,” and then winks (at Vasquez)

FIVE
BY
FIIIIIIIIIVE

Spaceships got a lot noisier over the last fifty seven years I’ll tell you what

Big fan of these little space sports cars

Vasquez’s gun is at least twelve times as big as any other weapon being carried

Ripley is just CASUALLY WEARING A LEATHER JACKET

DO NOT PUSH HER TO THE SIDE YOU FUCK THATS RIPLEY SHES LIKE 87 YEARS OLD

aliens in jars for sure gonna be in my dreams tonight :(

WHO IS GONNA GET FACE HUGGGED@ABHHHHHHH

oh my god Kirsten Dunst from Interview with the Vampire is here

I hope Rebecca rips Gorman’s eyes out

Do not make Ripley maternal don’t you do it

Her name is NEWT

NEWT IS A GREAT NAME why are there not more kids named Newt

Newt would have loved Jonesy

OKAY I AM SORRY I FORGOT ABOUT THE FAMOUS NEWT https://twitter.com/jimdelaneympls/status/1249879048643317760?s=21 https://twitter.com/jimdelaneympls/status/1249879048643317760

I know the concern is Aliens but this is also for sure Freddy Krueger’s boiler room

Are they inside the alien
Are they the aliens
DRY HEAT
Eeeeeeeee I love horror

Vasquez with the glare of “another dude fucked shit up again, no surprise”

UhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhM

I specifically asked for less goo

Just realized I was clutching my face so hard I couldn’t feel it ahhhhh

I’m just saying

TOO MUCH ALIEN
ABORT MISSION

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

omfg how has this been kept from me

NOT APONE

ok as much as I don’t want them all to die this will really help me keep track of the characters a bit better