Listen to me Joe Biden you kooky ol’ so-and-so: NOBODY IS REMOTELY EXCITED ABOUT THIS SO YOU GET ELIZABETH WARREN OR STACEY ABRAMS ON YOUR GODDAMNED TICKET TODAY AND MAYBE WE WILL SUMMON ENTHUSIASM FOR YOUR CANDIDACY FOR ANY REASON OTHER THAN A PROTEST VOTE.

I will vote and canvas and fundraise for Joe Biden like my life and the lives of those less fortunate than me are at stake because that is precisely the case here.