new #dnd character idea: a druid from under the sea who has never seen any land based races before and is just FASCINATED by them

DRUID: are you SURE they aren't there?
HALFLING: [sigh] for the last time I do not have gills
DRUID: not even small ones?
HALFLING: stop touching me

FIGHTER: what the hell is that

DRUID: this is my familiar, the octoshark

FIGHTER: oh. does it...I mean...what does it...do?

DRUID: mostly it unscrews jar lids from the inside and eats tuna

DRUID: so you just walk around? all day? on these stumps?

ROGUE: yes. well, no. sometimes we sit.

DRUID: ah yes I have noted you folding yourself in half sometimes. do you not develop a crease down the middle?

DRUID: this fight is not lost! fear not fellow companions. we shall SWIM FOR VICTORY

FIGHTER: no
ROGUE: NO
BARD: PLEASE NO NOT AGA-

DRUID: I have slain a land based mammal which was following us. clearly an evil spy. a filthy thing. covered in bristles. Not a hint of scale anywhere to be seen.

BARD: that. is a housecat.

DRUID: a what