You should watch Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade along with me and @jowrotethis — tonight at 7:30pm Eastern — so that you can be there when I finally get confirmation that Indiana Jones is the name of both the man and his hat. We are sure to both be a-tweetin!!

Hey @jowrotethis if the second movie is the prequel to the first movie what the hell is the third movie, thank you

Quotes to look out for, as guessed by me:

RIVER PHOENIX!?

BOY SCOUTS?!?!

RIVER PHOENIX AS A BOY SCOUT?!!!?!

Oh also in case you didn’t know my guess for “what Indiana is after” in this one was “a lady”

I cannot believe that I apprently get Sean Connery, a hot babe in a hat, River Phoenix with a yellow bandana around his neck, and Harrison Ford with (I assume) faulty shirt buttons ALL IN ONE MOVIE I am blessed

Mom during snake and alligator train scene: “FUCK! HURRY UP HURRY uppppp!! OH NOOOO!”

River Phoenix is MY tiger king

(I know it’s a lion leave me alone)

Villains here are very much these guys right?!

OH WAIT A MOMENT
THESE CARS ARE VERY OLD
WHO IS THIS BOY SCOUT

NAILED IT GUYS

“Kristin River Phoenix said his name was Indiana like three times!” - @jowrotethis

Someone make me a collage of every bow tie Professor Jones has ever worn

Run your hands over my tablet, Indiana WHAT WHO SAID THAT

The plot line of every 1980s movie I know hinges on “rich white people are bad” and yet

“Your father is the man who disappeared.”

My mom, who has seen the movie:

“NOW THAT IS A TWIST!”

Bilbo Baggins and Papa Jones keep a very similar study

HELLO DOCTOR ELSA NICE TO MEET YOU

Glad to see that every Elsa I know is a true ice queen

X *DOESNT* MARK THE SPOT JOANNA SAID!

Spike would have LOVED this underground crypt omg he was totally alive WAIT guys do you think Spike and Indiana ever met

I don’t like the rats
Mom doesn’t like the rats
Nobody here likes the rats

“Look at the artistry in these carvings” is what I hope my future wife says while knee deep in petroleum, moments after having rats on her shoulders

Now I feel sad for the rats, this is so like me

These little boats are also incredibly sexy and I’m sorry that I just keep telling you all the things that are sexy in this film but my hunch is that’s why you all love it so much

Oh he’s a Knight of Byzantium

For the record I’m going to try putting petroleum in my hair, really does wonders for these guys

OH MY GOD HIS ACCENT OH MY GOD

also I was very into Elsa kicking Indy as foreplay btw

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA well the line was

“Nazis, I hate these guys.”

My guess was...

“Archaeologists, I hate these guys.”

Oh god Sean Connery as Mary Poppins in a suit yes

Indiana screaming “I CAME HERE TO SAVE YOU” is literally every conversation I’ve had with my parents for the past month

Sorry there’s so much happening that I didn’t get to say HAHAHAHAHAHA PAPA JONES’ FISHERMAN HAT

Slept with the wrong lady that time didntya Indy

Just a father and a son tied up in two hats dealing with impending death and having slept with the same nazi

Fires to the right
Nazis to the left
Here I am stuck in the fireplace with you

The movie pitch of “Harrison Ford and Sean Connery fight for two hours” would have sold me on its own tbh

PAPA JONES IN THE SIDECAR AHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

FLAGPOLE JAVELIN

Great film ten out of ten

Honest to god Papa Jones in the sidecar being like YER GOIN THE WRONG WAY INDY *I* KNOW WHERE THE GRAIL IS is literally my current quarantine existence this film is so relatable

WHAT IS THAT HAT ELSA

A BLIMP?!

People just ... rode on blimps?

Ohhhhhhh what is the difference tho https://twitter.com/jowrotethis/status/1246961982265163776?s=21 https://twitter.com/jowrotethis/status/1246961982265163776

My mom and I are having a big conversation about how blimps/zeppelins fly

“Is a plane under it?”
“I think it’s full of helium.”

Last thing on this topic: can you even believe that BLIMP is a real word

Prove to me that Indiana Jones doesn’t give his leather jacket to Angel (who then gives it to Buffy) at the end of all this

OH MY GOD SEAN CONNERY IS R2D2

By the way Marcus Brody got lost in his own museum not the temple but seems a given that he would lost there too

Ohhhhhh also he suddenly remembered his Charlemagne NOT the book he left in the other room

Lol

Oh my word the hat and goggle look in Elsa though

ANOTHER KNIGHT OF BYZANTIUM

Why can’t we make Siri talk like Sean Connery

Horses, always the unsung heroes

It seems like generally speaking these movies are better when Indiana Jones is punching Nazis

WHAT ARE THEY GOING TO NAME INDIANA