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i always imagine #dnd wizards to be a bit like wine purists
FIGHTER: we need a fire spell, now!
WIZARD: oho well this *is* interesting (opens book) aganazzar's scorcher? incendiary cloud? perhaps a quick 'essaim de météores', if that's not too robust at this time of day-
FIGHTER: we need a fire spell, now!
WIZARD: oho well this *is* interesting (opens book) aganazzar's scorcher? incendiary cloud? perhaps a quick 'essaim de météores', if that's not too robust at this time of day-
[explosion]
WIZARD 1: *sniffs the air* ah! ...I thought as much. A hint of bat guano. Claude, you absolute maverick.
WIZARD 2: (produces a cheeseboard) well, it is your birthday
WIZARD 1: *sniffs the air* ah! ...I thought as much. A hint of bat guano. Claude, you absolute maverick.
WIZARD 2: (produces a cheeseboard) well, it is your birthday
FIGHTER: we need more firepower! Wizard what the hell are you doing up there?!
WIZARD: a decent lightning bolt needs time to mature. You can't just throw any old line of electricity at a demon lord, they'll laugh us right out of the room
WIZARD: a decent lightning bolt needs time to mature. You can't just throw any old line of electricity at a demon lord, they'll laugh us right out of the room
WIZARD: bear with me I need to decide which of bigby's hands I'm summoning
FIGHTER: they are all the same just choose
WIZARD: (deadly quiet) the same?
FIGHTER: i didn't mean-
WIZARD: (lightning hands) no no please. explain to me how they are all the same.
FIGHTER: they are all the same just choose
WIZARD: (deadly quiet) the same?
FIGHTER: i didn't mean-
WIZARD: (lightning hands) no no please. explain to me how they are all the same.
FIGHTER: please, PLEASE just cast the spell
WIZARD: you can't just CAST Krenzor's Disembowelment. you have to let it come when it wishes
FIGHTER: dear god man they're EATING the BARD
WIZARD: look his fate is lamentable but I will not be prodded into philistinism
WIZARD: you can't just CAST Krenzor's Disembowelment. you have to let it come when it wishes
FIGHTER: dear god man they're EATING the BARD
WIZARD: look his fate is lamentable but I will not be prodded into philistinism
