i always imagine #dnd wizards to be a bit like wine purists

FIGHTER: we need a fire spell, now!

WIZARD: oho well this *is* interesting (opens book) aganazzar's scorcher? incendiary cloud? perhaps a quick 'essaim de météores', if that's not too robust at this time of day-

[explosion]

WIZARD 1: *sniffs the air* ah! ...I thought as much. A hint of bat guano. Claude, you absolute maverick.

WIZARD 2: (produces a cheeseboard) well, it is your birthday

FIGHTER: we need more firepower! Wizard what the hell are you doing up there?!

WIZARD: a decent lightning bolt needs time to mature. You can't just throw any old line of electricity at a demon lord, they'll laugh us right out of the room

WIZARD: bear with me I need to decide which of bigby's hands I'm summoning

FIGHTER: they are all the same just choose

WIZARD: (deadly quiet) the same?

FIGHTER: i didn't mean-

WIZARD: (lightning hands) no no please. explain to me how they are all the same.

FIGHTER: please, PLEASE just cast the spell

WIZARD: you can't just CAST Krenzor's Disembowelment. you have to let it come when it wishes

FIGHTER: dear god man they're EATING the BARD

WIZARD: look his fate is lamentable but I will not be prodded into philistinism