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My psychologist talked to me on Friday about the importance of self compassion over self esteem, while also covering the dangers of self criticism. When it comes to self criticism, I often use it as a way to hurt myself because I struggle with thinking I& #39;m worthless and deserve
it. It& #39;s also definitely a control thing, as I& #39;m terrified of how in flux life can be. So beating myself becomes this pillar of stability and gives the impression that I know what& #39;s wrong with me. When it comes to self esteem, I& #39;ve spent ages tying that to things around me. This
is especially the case when it comes to my art. My self esteem is tied to how much good art I can make. So when I don& #39;t make art, I feel awful about myself and see me as a failure. My psychologist explains that this happens when we tie our self esteem to anything. Nothing is
always stable, so of course our self esteem would be in major flux. Instead, it& #39;s about practicing self compassion. Recognizing the ups and downs, and giving kind attention to the pain. It& #39;s a form of self acceptance. It& #39;s learning to appreciate and care about ourselves despite
circumstances, and this caring mentality makes room for mistakes, and flaws, etc. As opposed to relying on self esteem which doesn& #39;t account for those things and makes our relationship with ourselves more volatile. So yeah, as someone who has historically hated himself and tied
self esteem to a lot of external things, I& #39;m having to learn how to be compassionate towards myself so that I start accepting who I am and also feel inclined to make healthier and better decisions. It& #39;s much harder to make the right decision for yourself when all of your energy
is spent criticizing everything you do and berating yourself.
It& #39;s also worth nothing that self criticism didn& #39;t make me a better artist. Some folks will go around saying you have to beat yourself up constantly to get better. They& #39;re wrong. That self criticism constantly undermined my motivation, so that I never even tried. It was when I
