Just learned a new thing about the platypus, this patchworked river dumbass, God’s drunken mistake, the greatest shame of the antipodes

So female platypuses have two ovaries, just like humans, but only the left one actually ever develops. Always the left, always only one. Why? Who knows!

Male platypuses have a four-headed penis but only the left half of it is functional

In echidnas, who have a similar downstairs setup, they only use half of the penis at a time, but they at least alternate which half, unlike the poor lopsided platypus

And yes, I do mean lopsided

Apparently the left half of the penis is substantially more developed than the right, putting paid to the age-old question of which side the platypus would dress to

I cannot find a single illustration of an un-retracted platypus penis which just proves to me that zoological artists are all cowards

To the platypus there are two directions

Cockwise and anti-cockwise