I’m starting to call these the “apple pie positions” => the personal risk of pushing back is so high that almost everyone nods “yes”, even though it is rarely the right answer for the team / company / user. Great example in the quoted Tweet. Will add more in the thread below: https://twitter.com/can/status/1231244204359053312

Apple pie position #1:

We need more scalable processes.

Apple pie position #2:

We need to define the success metrics for <whatever is being discussed>.

Apple pie position #3:

We need incentives and priorities to be aligned across all of the teams working on <whatever is being discussed>.

Apple pie position #4:

We need a weekly [check-in || update || executive review] to keep all the stakeholders in the loop.

Apple pie position #5:

We need to stop thinking tactically and think strategically.

Sometimes seen in the wild as:

We shouldn't miss the forest for the trees.

AND

We need to zoom out a bit.

Apple pie position #6:

We need more executive buy in before we can execute on <whatever is being discussed>.

Apple pie position #7:

We don't expect the business to grow a whole lot this year because we are laying the foundation for massive growth in future years.

(fast forward: the promised massive growth never actually materializes)

Apple pie position #8:

We have too many meetings.

Apple pie position #9:

We need to sync more often.

Apple pie position #10:

We need more apple pie!

(this one I agree with entirely)

Apple pie position #11:

We need better metrics before making a decision here.

Apple pie position #12:

We need a better go-to-market strategy to improve product adoption.

Apple pie position #14:

We need an offsite!

Apple pie position #15:

We need to do a retrospective to determine the systemic changes that are necessary.

Also seen in the wild as:

We need to post-mortem this.

Apple position #16:

We need to clarify our expectations from people in this role so we can set them up for success.

Also seen in the wild as:

We need a better career ladder for this role.

AND

The reason this role isn't impactful yet is that role expectations are unclear.

Apple pie position #17:

We need [person being discussed] to be more strategic and less tactical.

Apple pie position #18:

We need more internal documentation!

Apple pie position #19:

We shouldn't forget [quote one of the company's core values].

(often used as a tool to justify one's position, especially when faced with rational counter-arguments)

Apple pie position #20:

We need to replace our team meeting with written updates.

Fast forward a few weeks/months:

People are missing live interactions with team members, they don't know what's going on across the team, nobody's reading the written updates. We need a meeting.

Apple pie position #21:

Our current org structure doesn't set us up for optimal execution of our strategic goals. That's why we are announcing a re-org.

Apple pie position #22:

Remember, we need to hire for strengths not a lack of weakness.

(usually employed to justify hiring a highly pedigreed person for an important role)

Apple pie position #23:

We must not slow down our shipping velocity.

(usually applied to push back against a fairly rational measure that will cause a minor delay in shipping the product but will prevent bigger problems for the user / company further down the road)

Apple pie position #24:

[A] We have done tremendous user research over the past 3 months and have identified these [top N] product gaps. We are confident that product adoption will soar once we address these gaps within the next [M] months.

Fast forward M months: goto [A]

Apple pie position #25:

Remember, we are a mission-driven company.

(particularly effective in justifying below-market compensation for current and prospective employees)

Which ones did I miss? Feel free to add your most favorite (or least favorite) Apple Pie Positions in replies or retweets.