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DM: ‘The barman hands you your drinks and demands £15’
Fighter: ‘For three cokes?!’
Wizard: ‘I cast Charm Barman’
DM: ‘He seems immune’
Bard: ‘I’ll play a tune-‘
DM: ‘The Barman says no busking’
Bard: ‘I continue singing’
DM: ‘You’re in the back of a Police car...’
Fighter: ‘For three cokes?!’
Wizard: ‘I cast Charm Barman’
DM: ‘He seems immune’
Bard: ‘I’ll play a tune-‘
DM: ‘The Barman says no busking’
Bard: ‘I continue singing’
DM: ‘You’re in the back of a Police car...’
DM: ‘Three youths approach you on the path-‘
Mage: ‘Well met!’
DM: ‘The youths hurl insults at you, they are especially critical of your robes’
Mage: ...
Mage: ‘Fire-‘
(DM shakes head)
Mage: ...
Mage: ‘Arcane hand!’
DM: ‘A giant hand appears’
Mage: ‘I slap them’
DM: ...
Mage: ‘Well met!’
DM: ‘The youths hurl insults at you, they are especially critical of your robes’
Mage: ...
Mage: ‘Fire-‘
(DM shakes head)
Mage: ...
Mage: ‘Arcane hand!’
DM: ‘A giant hand appears’
Mage: ‘I slap them’
DM: ...
DM ‘You’re in Guildford hunting for Christmas presents’
Mage: ‘Cast Detect Present’
DM: ‘You see the socks you are after - make a roll’
(Passes)
DM: ‘An octogenarian has also seen them’
Rogue: ‘Run to the socks!’
(Rolls, fails)
DM: ‘Too late!’
Barbarian: (goes into rage)
Mage: ‘Cast Detect Present’
DM: ‘You see the socks you are after - make a roll’
(Passes)
DM: ‘An octogenarian has also seen them’
Rogue: ‘Run to the socks!’
(Rolls, fails)
DM: ‘Too late!’
Barbarian: (goes into rage)
Reposting as I spotted a spelling mistake!
DM: ‘The red beast closes on you - blaring!’
Fighter: ‘I attack’
(Success)
DM: ‘Your sword bounces off it’
Mage: ‘Fireball!’
DM: ‘A hit! The beast stops, a man steps from out of it’
Players: ‘?’
Bus driver: ‘What are you doing?’
DM: ‘You’re in the back of a Police car...’
Fighter: ‘I attack’
(Success)
DM: ‘Your sword bounces off it’
Mage: ‘Fireball!’
DM: ‘A hit! The beast stops, a man steps from out of it’
Players: ‘?’
Bus driver: ‘What are you doing?’
DM: ‘You’re in the back of a Police car...’
DM: ‘You’re stuck in traffic on the motorway’
Mage: ‘Look for a way through’
(Rolls, passes)
DM: ‘You spy a lane-‘
(Mage puts foot down)
Rogue: ‘IT’S A BREAKDOWN LA-‘
(1 mile later)
Mage: ‘I cast invisibility’
(Tap, Tap, Tap)
Policeman: ‘Name and licence...’
Rogue: ...
Mage: ‘Look for a way through’
(Rolls, passes)
DM: ‘You spy a lane-‘
(Mage puts foot down)
Rogue: ‘IT’S A BREAKDOWN LA-‘
(1 mile later)
Mage: ‘I cast invisibility’
(Tap, Tap, Tap)
Policeman: ‘Name and licence...’
Rogue: ...
DM: ‘You’re waiting for a delayed train-’
Mage:...
Bard: ‘I sing a jovial tune!’
DM: ‘Make a roll’
(Bard passes)
DM: ‘You spot the murderous looks from the waiting crowd’
Bard: ‘I stop’
Mage: ‘Cast COMMAND on the Bard’
(Success)
DM: ‘To do what?’
Mage: ‘Sing’
Bard:...
Mage:...
Bard: ‘I sing a jovial tune!’
DM: ‘Make a roll’
(Bard passes)
DM: ‘You spot the murderous looks from the waiting crowd’
Bard: ‘I stop’
Mage: ‘Cast COMMAND on the Bard’
(Success)
DM: ‘To do what?’
Mage: ‘Sing’
Bard:...
DM: ‘You’re at the back of a long queue’
Barbarian: (growls)
Bard: ‘I-‘
Mage: ’Cast silence on the Bard’
(Success)
Bard: ...
DM: ‘A new till opens up-‘
Party: ‘Run for it!’
DM: ‘Everyone roll’
(All fail)
DM: ‘You’re at the back of a long queue...’
Barbarian: (growls)
Barbarian: (growls)
Bard: ‘I-‘
Mage: ’Cast silence on the Bard’
(Success)
Bard: ...
DM: ‘A new till opens up-‘
Party: ‘Run for it!’
DM: ‘Everyone roll’
(All fail)
DM: ‘You’re at the back of a long queue...’
Barbarian: (growls)
DM: ‘It’s been a great night of revelry - now it’s time to go home’
Cleric: ‘I hail a cab’
DM: ‘Roll’
(Fails)
DM: ‘None stop’
Paladin: (snorts) ‘Amateur, I cast Find Steed’
(DM rolls)
DM: ‘An illuminated rickshaw turns up’
Paladin: ...
Cleric: ‘I start to walk home’
Cleric: ‘I hail a cab’
DM: ‘Roll’
(Fails)
DM: ‘None stop’
Paladin: (snorts) ‘Amateur, I cast Find Steed’
(DM rolls)
DM: ‘An illuminated rickshaw turns up’
Paladin: ...
Cleric: ‘I start to walk home’
DM: ‘You’re at airport security’
Paladin: ‘I walk forward-‘
DM: ‘A buzzer sounds’
Paladin: ‘?’
Guard: ‘Follow me, Sir’
Paladin: ‘But, I’m lawful-‘
Druid: ‘My turn, I walk forward’
DM: ‘Nothing happens’
(Druid grins)
DM: ‘Paladin, you hear the sound of a latex glove...’
Paladin: ‘I walk forward-‘
DM: ‘A buzzer sounds’
Paladin: ‘?’
Guard: ‘Follow me, Sir’
Paladin: ‘But, I’m lawful-‘
Druid: ‘My turn, I walk forward’
DM: ‘Nothing happens’
(Druid grins)
DM: ‘Paladin, you hear the sound of a latex glove...’
DM: ‘The room is wobbling, you fall to the floor and shake-‘
Ranger: ‘I try to stand up!’
DM: ‘Roll for Dex’
(Fails)
DM: ‘You fall over-’
Ranger: ‘I thrust my dagger into the floor!’
(Success)
DM: ‘You hear a hisss!’
Ranger: ‘Gas trap!’
Bouncy Castle Man: ‘Oi! You! Off!’
Ranger: ‘I try to stand up!’
DM: ‘Roll for Dex’
(Fails)
DM: ‘You fall over-’
Ranger: ‘I thrust my dagger into the floor!’
(Success)
DM: ‘You hear a hisss!’
Ranger: ‘Gas trap!’
Bouncy Castle Man: ‘Oi! You! Off!’
DM: ‘You reach the stairs down-‘
Paladin: ‘I go first-’
DM: ‘Perception roll!’
(Passes)
DM: ‘The stairs are moving’
Paladin: ‘By the unholy, I run back-‘
DM: ‘Too late’
Paladin ‘Save youselves!’
DM: ‘Helpless, you slowly descend towards a waiting mall guard’
Paladin: ...
Paladin: ‘I go first-’
DM: ‘Perception roll!’
(Passes)
DM: ‘The stairs are moving’
Paladin: ‘By the unholy, I run back-‘
DM: ‘Too late’
Paladin ‘Save youselves!’
DM: ‘Helpless, you slowly descend towards a waiting mall guard’
Paladin: ...
DM: ‘From the darkness two creatures of night emerge; dressed all in black, their faces pale, eyes dark - faces etched by sadness’
Cleric: ‘Turn undead!’
DM: ‘Roll the dice’
(Passes)
DM: ‘No effect’
Cleric: ‘?’
DM: ‘The goths glare at you as they saunter past’
Cleric: ...
Cleric: ‘Turn undead!’
DM: ‘Roll the dice’
(Passes)
DM: ‘No effect’
Cleric: ‘?’
DM: ‘The goths glare at you as they saunter past’
Cleric: ...
‘There’s a knock at the door...’
Bard: ‘I answer it’
DM: ‘Standing before you is a small group of smiling children’
Bard: (annoyed) ‘Yes?’
DM: ‘They begin to sing a carol about baby Jesus-‘
Bard: ‘I cast ‘Power Word Kill’
DM:...
DM: ‘You are in the back of a Police car...’
Bard: ‘I answer it’
DM: ‘Standing before you is a small group of smiling children’
Bard: (annoyed) ‘Yes?’
DM: ‘They begin to sing a carol about baby Jesus-‘
Bard: ‘I cast ‘Power Word Kill’
DM:...
DM: ‘You are in the back of a Police car...’
DM: ‘You’re in a car park-‘
Rogue: ‘Look for a parking spot’
DM: ‘Roll’
(Passes)
DM: ‘You spot one, but another car nips in!’
Mage: ‘Cast disintegrate’
DM: ‘Both car and owner disappear’
(Mage grins as he parks)
Cleric: (sighs) ‘Cast Resurrection’
Mage: ‘Spoil sport...’
Rogue: ‘Look for a parking spot’
DM: ‘Roll’
(Passes)
DM: ‘You spot one, but another car nips in!’
Mage: ‘Cast disintegrate’
DM: ‘Both car and owner disappear’
(Mage grins as he parks)
Cleric: (sighs) ‘Cast Resurrection’
Mage: ‘Spoil sport...’
DM: ‘You’re standing in a packed train carriage, there’s no room to move’
Mage: ‘I need a seat’
Cleric: ‘There isn’t one’
Mage: ‘Cast stinking cloud’
(DM rolls)
DM: ‘The stench is horrendous, but surprisingly, nobody moves’
Cleric: ‘I point accusingly at the mage’
Mage ...
Mage: ‘I need a seat’
Cleric: ‘There isn’t one’
Mage: ‘Cast stinking cloud’
(DM rolls)
DM: ‘The stench is horrendous, but surprisingly, nobody moves’
Cleric: ‘I point accusingly at the mage’
Mage ...
DM: ‘The pieces of the puzzle lie scattered around you-‘
Rogue: ’Check for traps’
(Rolls, passes)
DM: ‘You find none’
Mage: ‘I study the puzzle for a solution’
DM: ‘Roll’
(Fails)
Mage: ‘Curses, this is beyond me!’
Rogue: ...
Bard: ‘That IKEA unit made yet?’
Mage: ...
Rogue: ’Check for traps’
(Rolls, passes)
DM: ‘You find none’
Mage: ‘I study the puzzle for a solution’
DM: ‘Roll’
(Fails)
Mage: ‘Curses, this is beyond me!’
Rogue: ...
Bard: ‘That IKEA unit made yet?’
Mage: ...
DM: ‘You finish your meal and gesture for the bill...’
Paladin: ‘How we splitting this?’
Mage: ‘What’s that behind you?’
(Paladin turns)
Paladin: ‘?’
(Mage casts Teleport)
(Rogue hides in the shadows)
Paladin: ‘What the-‘
Waiter: ‘Your bill, Sir’
Paladin: ‘SonOva-‘
Paladin: ‘How we splitting this?’
Mage: ‘What’s that behind you?’
(Paladin turns)
Paladin: ‘?’
(Mage casts Teleport)
(Rogue hides in the shadows)
Paladin: ‘What the-‘
Waiter: ‘Your bill, Sir’
Paladin: ‘SonOva-‘
DM: ‘You are at a tavern guarded by two bouncers-‘
Paladin: ‘I walk in’
(DM rolls, passes)
DM: ‘You pass safely’
Mage: ‘Me next-‘
(DM rolls, fails)
Bouncer: ‘Get lost, Grandad’
Mage: ‘Stand aside, peasants!’
DM: ‘The bouncers attack-‘
Mage: ‘I CAST EXPEDITIOUS RETREAT!’
Paladin: ‘I walk in’
(DM rolls, passes)
DM: ‘You pass safely’
Mage: ‘Me next-‘
(DM rolls, fails)
Bouncer: ‘Get lost, Grandad’
Mage: ‘Stand aside, peasants!’
DM: ‘The bouncers attack-‘
Mage: ‘I CAST EXPEDITIOUS RETREAT!’
DM: ‘You’ve been waiting at home all day for a messenger-‘
Barbarian: ‘Yawning, I get myself a drink’
DM: ‘Roll the dice’
(Rolls a 1)
DM: ‘When you return you spy a card pushed under your door, it says: Sorry I missed you, I’ll try again tomorrow-‘
Barbarian: ‘FURIOUS RAGE!’
Barbarian: ‘Yawning, I get myself a drink’
DM: ‘Roll the dice’
(Rolls a 1)
DM: ‘When you return you spy a card pushed under your door, it says: Sorry I missed you, I’ll try again tomorrow-‘
Barbarian: ‘FURIOUS RAGE!’
Interviewer: ‘What experience do you have?’
Mage: ‘I’m level 7’
Interviewer: ‘I mean work experience-‘
Mage: ‘I killed a dragon once’
(Silence)
Mage: ‘I can do magic!’
Interviewer: ‘Can make yourself disappear?’
Mage (eyes narrow)
DM: ‘You’re in the back of a police car-‘
Mage: ‘I’m level 7’
Interviewer: ‘I mean work experience-‘
Mage: ‘I killed a dragon once’
(Silence)
Mage: ‘I can do magic!’
Interviewer: ‘Can make yourself disappear?’
Mage (eyes narrow)
DM: ‘You’re in the back of a police car-‘
DM: ‘You’re sat for Xmas dinner-‘
Cleric: ‘I bless the chicken’
DM: ‘It’s dead, it won’t improve future saving throws’
Cleric: ...
Bard: (standing) ‘A toast-’
Mage: (grins) ‘Allow me’
Party: ‘No! Wai-‘
(Mage casts fireball)
DM: ‘You’re all in the back of an ambulance...’
Cleric: ‘I bless the chicken’
DM: ‘It’s dead, it won’t improve future saving throws’
Cleric: ...
Bard: (standing) ‘A toast-’
Mage: (grins) ‘Allow me’
Party: ‘No! Wai-‘
(Mage casts fireball)
DM: ‘You’re all in the back of an ambulance...’
DM: ‘You’re at a New Year’s Eve Party-‘
Mage: ‘I’ll try to woo a wench’
DM: ‘Roll Charisma’
(Fails)
Mage: ‘I get drunk’
DM: ‘Next morning, you wake to find yourself in bed with a woman-‘
(Mage grins)
DM: ‘Roll Perception’
(Fails)
DM: ‘Now roll vs Petrification’
Mage:...
Mage: ‘I’ll try to woo a wench’
DM: ‘Roll Charisma’
(Fails)
Mage: ‘I get drunk’
DM: ‘Next morning, you wake to find yourself in bed with a woman-‘
(Mage grins)
DM: ‘Roll Perception’
(Fails)
DM: ‘Now roll vs Petrification’
Mage:...
