Been wondering which animal would be most improved by the addition of wings. There are so many variables though and the decision is taking serious contemplation

Cos first I’m thinking like yoooo wings are sick. Flying would be sick and that sends me down the cool animal root

But the cool animals are mostly predators and I can’t be fuckin about giving lions wings. That’s terrifying. Absolutely terrifying. Cool tho still

And I don’t know if you’ve ever clicked but a flying alligator is a dragon and I can not, in good conscience, unleash dragons upon the world

Flying predators get me anxious and then I start thinking about wholesome animals. Dogs with wings is an obvious choice. Flying good boys and girls. But the question is about improvement and dogs are perfect already

I think, when you really think about it there’s only one true answer...

Improvement is about taking something that’s one way and making it better. The shitter something is the more need it is of improvement...

The chicken, ladies and gentleman.

Now I’m not trying to slag off the chicken by any means but on my life no animal gets more sympathy from me like wow what a shit bird.

The first chicken was like “sick I’m a bird I’ll fly them.” And the world just laughed at them “You fuckin won’t”

And I know other birds can’t fly like penguins and ostriches and that but penguins swim and ostriches are pure fast like zooming and swimming all over the place those lot are

The thing is chickens already have wings! The torture. The mental torture. A constant reminder that they are the laughing stock of the bird world.

The longest recorded flight of a chicken is 11 seconds. I like thinking about that. After about 7 seconds that chicken must have been looking at his chicken mates like “Aha. Ahahah. I’ve done it boys. I’m doing it. Am fuckin flying.” And then just had to sit down forever

The longest recorded human fart is 14 times longer than the time that bird managed to fly and on that basis, the animal most deserving of wings is the chicken