MEETINGS are destroying the planet. Primitive weirdos forcing people to drive across town to sit in a room and breath each other’s pheromones when they could have telecommuted.

If only people who actually needed to physically inhabit the workplace drive to work we would be in a utopian paradise overnight.

But these maniac vampiric lich bosses want to smell your farts and burps while they monitor you. We need to apply massive penalties to businesses that force their workers to drive to work to do jobs they could do from home.

Traffic would get cut in half! Rents in big cities would go down. People would get to spend more time with their families! We could mail our farts and burps to our employers so they could continue to enjoy our stink.