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One of the things I've learned in trauma therapy is "hyper-vigilant pattern observation" happens to be a pretty common reaction to prolonged abuse. And I think I see that played out on the TL every day. People see patterns where they are none to maintain the illusion of safety.
I get it. We really want to think we know what pain & suffering looks like in human form, and it feels safer to believe we can see it coming down the street. But it's not actually making us any safer AND it's limiting our imagination for the possibilities of humanity.
At some point the need for that false sense of control--the addiction to certainty--made my world so small, I couldn't leave my bedroom. Pretending to be certain didn't save me, and I don't think it'll save any of us.
My feelings were valid, my trauma affirmed, and my reactions were understandable. In trying to live the life I want(ed) to live I had to accept all the things I couldn't possibly know for sure about any person except myself. Understandable ≠ Reasonable.
I see a lot of understandable anger & frustration here. It makes sense! But don't let it become the protective performance that keeps you from imagining a better world & better times ahead. If you can imagine it, you can work backward & map what it'll take to get there.
