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freeze frame on man running through bazaar
Jason Statham (VO): yeah. thass me. aladdin runnin frum the fuckin fuzz again
Jason Statham (VO): yeah. thass me. aladdin runnin frum the fuckin fuzz again
jasmine: who& #39;s there
Jason Statham aladdin: names aladdin, sweetheart. thass a big fuckin dog you got
Jasmine: it& #39;s a tiger
Jason Statham aladdin: names aladdin, sweetheart. thass a big fuckin dog you got
Jasmine: it& #39;s a tiger
Jafar: guards! seize him!
Jason Statham VO: that was Jafar. grand vizier, plonker, and weirdo. I knew he was a real bastard, but as I was about to discover, he was also a cunt
Jason Statham VO: that was Jafar. grand vizier, plonker, and weirdo. I knew he was a real bastard, but as I was about to discover, he was also a cunt
ray winstone the genie: the fuck you want
Jason statham: nothin mate
ray winstone genie: you rubbed the fuckin lamp ya twat
Jason statham: i didn& #39;t rub the fuckin lamp! Genies are haram!
ray winstone genie: *points with cig* don& #39;t. raise. ya fuckin voice. at me
Jason statham: nothin mate
ray winstone genie: you rubbed the fuckin lamp ya twat
Jason statham: i didn& #39;t rub the fuckin lamp! Genies are haram!
ray winstone genie: *points with cig* don& #39;t. raise. ya fuckin voice. at me
ray winstone genie: now who the fuck is this gentleman here
russell brand: *weird whining voice* they calls me the monkey, bruv. on account of i got a monkey on me back eheheheheh
ray winstone genie: don& #39;t fuckin speak to me son
russell brand: *weird whining voice* they calls me the monkey, bruv. on account of i got a monkey on me back eheheheheh
ray winstone genie: don& #39;t fuckin speak to me son
jasmine: i& #39;m going to call the guards
jason statham: don& #39;t bother love. i& #39;m just here to rob the place
russell brand: eh, eh. eh. aladdin
jason statham: and if you got any pills, me monkey& #39;ll have those
jason statham: don& #39;t bother love. i& #39;m just here to rob the place
russell brand: eh, eh. eh. aladdin
jason statham: and if you got any pills, me monkey& #39;ll have those
jason statham aladdin: is it really a crime to steal a loaf of bread for ya family? or some pills for ya monkey
jason statham aladdin: make me a prince
ray winstone genie: *sniggers asthmatically* i& #39;m a genie mate not the fuckin most high
ray winstone genie: *sniggers asthmatically* i& #39;m a genie mate not the fuckin most high
Jason statham aladdin: riff raff, street rat?
Piss off
Fuck that
Piss off
Fuck that
Jason Statham aladdin: if only he& #39;d come closer....
*headbutts*
Didn& #39;t see that coming, didja prick
*headbutts*
Didn& #39;t see that coming, didja prick
my top choice for jasmine is aubrey plaza
Sultan: the princess must marry!
peter capaldi Jafar: you let me worry about that right. you get out there and do what you do best. eating sweets and fuckin playing with yourself
peter capaldi Jafar: you let me worry about that right. you get out there and do what you do best. eating sweets and fuckin playing with yourself
peter capaldi jafar: get in that cave you waste of fuckin oxygen
jason statham aladdin: you go in the fuckin cave
peter capaldi jafar: ah i can& #39;t son. only one who can come out of that cave alive is someone who hasn& #39;t fucked your mum so i& #39;ve had quite a fuckin search
jason statham aladdin: you go in the fuckin cave
peter capaldi jafar: ah i can& #39;t son. only one who can come out of that cave alive is someone who hasn& #39;t fucked your mum so i& #39;ve had quite a fuckin search
sultan: oh prince ali, this is my grand vizier, jafar!
peter capaldi jafar: all right mate heard you had a lovely parade. and you got some beautiful fuckin teeth so that& #39;s good *leans in* cause if you touch the fuckin princess they& #39;re all anyones going to find of you, right
peter capaldi jafar: all right mate heard you had a lovely parade. and you got some beautiful fuckin teeth so that& #39;s good *leans in* cause if you touch the fuckin princess they& #39;re all anyones going to find of you, right
jason statham aladdin: that& #39;s real funny mate. i heard you were a funny fucker
peter capaldi jafar: don& #39;t try to tug me off son you haven& #39;t got enough hands
peter capaldi jafar: don& #39;t try to tug me off son you haven& #39;t got enough hands
ray winstone genie: three fuckin wishes. after that *shrugs* i& #39;m a patient genie
peter capaldi jafar: oh boo hoo your fucken boy missed out and i& #39;m your fuckin boss now *to aladdin* should& #39;ve wished for your fuckin balls to drop before you crossed me son
peter capaldi jafar: oh boo hoo your fucken boy missed out and i& #39;m your fuckin boss now *to aladdin* should& #39;ve wished for your fuckin balls to drop before you crossed me son
jason statham aladdin: you can& #39;t have infinite wishes. you stupid twat
peter capaldi jafar: genie i wish aladdin would drink a big cup of my fuckin BALL SWEAT
peter capaldi jafar: genie i wish aladdin would drink a big cup of my fuckin BALL SWEAT
ray winstone genie: stupid thing to wish for
peter capaldi jafar: i& #39;ve got two more wishes and my balls are fuckin dripping mate don& #39;t test me
peter capaldi jafar: i& #39;ve got two more wishes and my balls are fuckin dripping mate don& #39;t test me
jasmine: i want to marry who i choose
peter capaldi jafar: oh you puir thing, course you& #39;ll have CHOICES. you can CHOOSE for the groom to wear a classic ceremonial robe? or a fuckin TIGERSKIN TUXEDO
peter capaldi jafar: oh you puir thing, course you& #39;ll have CHOICES. you can CHOOSE for the groom to wear a classic ceremonial robe? or a fuckin TIGERSKIN TUXEDO
jasmine: are you going to wish that i fall in love with you
peter capaldi Jafar: are you fuckin serious? this is a political alliance you vacant fuckin beachside property of a woman. i& #39;ve known you since you were two years old. you were a shit baby and now you& #39;re a shit princess
peter capaldi Jafar: are you fuckin serious? this is a political alliance you vacant fuckin beachside property of a woman. i& #39;ve known you since you were two years old. you were a shit baby and now you& #39;re a shit princess
peter capaldi jafar: KEEP THAT FAT ARSE IN THOSE HUGE PANTS OR I& #39;LL CALL THE PALACE GUARD
if you liked this thread throw some cash to apocalypsemaud@gmail.com it& #39;s me
my reasoning is, every time this thread does the rounds some guy rips off the premise, makes the jokes bad, and gets paid for my work. if someone& #39;s getting that whitewash aladdin cash is should be ME
thank you to the person who sent me cash on venmo, unfortch i do not have a venmo just a paypal. which is why it& #39;ll return to you, not because i am too proud to accept money. i am not too proud to accept money
