life so far: sitting in our homes and listening to news bulletins on radio which announce death toll, the young boys succumbing to grievous bullet injuries, rebels trapped elsewhere in houses, houses being blown up, nation descends into a collective mourning

50 rounds of funerals for two local rebels and the participation of close to a rough figure of 30 thousand people in one funeral, men and women and children, marching together in a procession shouting death to india, a mother offering gun salute to his martyr son

someday, by the will of Allah, we will inflict an apocalyptic defeat on india that it will never recover itself from it.

a sister showering sweets on his martyr brother singing ' farewell, my brother. we will meet hereafter '. there is an eerie feeling of an inability to fight india ( could one as well fight from the frontlines? ) which may have before turned us into borderline cynics

and why is there an urgent need to bear extreme caution while we are recruiting over ground workers ? how do we infiltrate enemy intelligence networks ? and how must we restructure the rank formations when we are moving from place to place in the villages?

how long until we, as well, oneday join the ranks ? that feeling and how it compels us to think of incorporating a change in methodology of guerrilla warfare brings about a hope that ..

( something like no, all futile, what does it achieve? it's a death wish etcetera) but, now, makes us think could we also survive as well while we are rebels and fighting indian occupation in our country ? what do we learn from our mistakes of our past

.. where we have suffered military defeats? how do we use less man force and resources where it's pointless to fight, where, in a cordon, let us say, we are outnumbered, by a huge margin, by enemy soldiers and somehow could we evade the cordon and give enemies a slip?