You know what's the worst TVC of all time? I'll tell you what. It's that Superferry TV ad of Sharon Cuneta. It's the worst because not only is it the absolute worst, it's the creepiest TVC of all time. I'll tell you why...

But first, to refresh your memory, here's Ate Shawie's Superferry TVC circa I don't know when because there is only one, yes one, grainy, low-quality upload on YouTube of the original TVC, which makes it even more creepy (there's another one but it's been edited and parodied).

So now that you've just viewed the absolute worst TVC of all time and your sense of reality has been shaken to its core, let's break it down, shall we?

First, we're not even five seconds into the TVC and Ate Shawie departs for the skies for no reason whatsoever, leaving her fellow passengers of the Superferry batshit dumbfounded that there's a mutant in their midst.

Okay, call Ate Shawie's sudden levitation 'creative license', but we'll get back to that later. So after flying off to god knows where, we see a creepy image of Ate Shawie's disembodied feet landing on a bridge. After which, she interacts with a child.

You know the relation between bridges and kids, right? Oh you don't? So, ever heard of Crybaby Bridges? Look it up. Anyway, there's always been an urban myth about bridges and children...

So this is San Juanico Bridge that connects the islands of Samar and Leyte. Not only is it the longest bridge in the Philippines, it has survived Yolanda, a ferry ramming it, and 80's action star Dante Varona's death-defying jumps from it

You know what makes this bridge super strong? It's been whispered that dozens of children were sacrificed in rituals to make the bridge's foundations strong. Go ask your engineer friends about structures and human sacrifices. All they'd probably give you is a wry smile.

Going back to Ate Shawie's Superferry TVC, you won't probably look at the bridge scene the same way again. But it gets creepier...

So in the next few scenes, Ate Shawie flies off here and there, happily dancing and interacting with people. She even does a somersault, like, holy crap, there's some pretty serious devil worship going on here...

It's all fun and games until we get to this part, where Ate Shawie lands on the ship's mast...

I'm like, holy shit, this is getting super creepy and evil. Why, you ask?

Doesn't that scene remind you of this...

or this...

and this?

Yep, this scene is another allusion to death.

So after we see Ate Shawie perched like a fucking vulture on the ship's mast, we then see her ghostly figure flying off from the ship. This is also the first time we get to see the ship in its entirety...

Where does she fly to? Here...

That's the Underground River in Palawan. So what, you may ask? Well here's what--the scene right after the wide shot is this...

Does that remind you of something? No? Well, let me refresh your memory. This is Charon. You very well know from your mythology class that Charon is the ferryman of Hades who carries souls of the newly deceased across the rivers Styx and Acheron.

Remember that shot of the ship followed by a wide shot of the underground river, followed by a menacing shot of the dark mouth of the cave? Yup, creepy as fuck. Anyway, so as Ate Shawie keeps on flying in and out of dumbfounded crowds of people, we can finally ask...

What the fuck is all that levitating about, given that this is a ferry commercial, and not an airline? Well, here's Ate Shawie enjoying her air time...

And here's a famous scene from a horror movie...

Yup, the Superferry TVC is one creepy-ass commercial with not one, but several allusions to death. We all know the pathetic safety record of our inter-island ferries and Ate Shawie's TVC is just plain eerie. And you know what's the best part of the TVC?

When she says, "Sakay na!" Yup, it's like the Grim Reaper, Charon, and the devil himself teamed up to create this awful TVC. Subliminal ads, you say? This takes subliminal advertising to a whole new level. Goodluck finding sleep tonight, bitches.

Finally, there are those who think this thread is a stretch or that weed played a part in it. Well, try googling ‘Superferry 14’. Take note of the timeline. This TVC came out in the mid-1990’s. Now you know why you definitely won’t be able to sleep tonight. KTNXBYE