He doesn’t lie to you because the truth will hurt your feelings. He lies to you because the truth might provoke you to make choices that won’t serve his interests.

Lies are almost always about making the liar feel better about themselves, or they about helping the liar manipulate your access to information that will help you to make the best choice for yourself

A lot of times people aren’t really worried about your feelings when they lie. They worried about THEIR feelings when they lie. THEY don’t wanna feel crappy about revealing the truth, but they tell you that they don’t want YOU to feel crappy about it. That’s a lie too.

And if they not lying to make themselves feel better, they lying so that you won’t have enough information to make a choice that would potentially remove their access to you and your resources

So, if I could give any advice to men, and women, it would be to tell the truth. Tell people what you really mean, what they can really expect, and what you’re really about when it comes to your interactions with them

Because if you really care about someone, you won’t want to see them hurting or take an “L” on your behalf. That may mean they decide to limit interaction w/ you and it may mean you can’t kick it like you want to, but at least you laid it out for them to make an informed choice.

But most of the time we don’t care about laying it out with integrity unless it’s our heart that’s on the line. When it suits us, many of us will tell a whole lie to someone and then blame them for getting hurt when the truth comes out in the end.

Whenever you manipulate the truth to serve yourself but keep someone else from thriving, you basically saying they not on the same level as you in terms of respect, and if you don’t respect them, then why are you around them?

Our culture tells us when we lie to people, mislead them and withhold things they might want to know that it’s just “the game”...but games are for kids and when you decide to put away childish things, you have a higher standard to reach for.

We often think of being with a person in terms of who they are to us and what they mean to us, but I submit that being is less about who they are and all about who you are. You don’t lie to ppl b/c they not important to you. You lie because you a liar. That’s who you are.

Because a real stand up person is gon stand up regardless who who likes it, who don’t, who’s happy with what they have to say, who ain’t, who walks away and who stays. That’s the standard for themselves, to tell the truth.

And I just say all of that to say this: #1 don’t feel responsible for the actions of people who lie b/c that was never about you and always about them.

#2 if you gon lie, embrace the choice that your making to lie for your own purposes, and not to ease someone else pain