Walked out of the movie theater after watching A Quiet Place and Nixon asked “is the daughter supposed to be deaf?”

Me: French Montana isn’t black..... is he??
Nixon: I think he’s Canadian
Me: So is he a black Canadian?
Nixon: No, Canadian is a race

My little bro: you can text on Instagram now?
Nixon: it’s called a direct message, that’s where the term DM comes from
Me: no DM originates from Twitter
Nixon: it’s called DM on Twitter??

Nixon: why is it a thing for @marshmellomusic to wear all white?

Me: because....he’s a marshmello?

Nix: why don’t lobster and crawfish taste the same?
Me: bc... they’re different animals
Nix: no they’re the same! the lobster is just an evolved version of the crawfish

Nix: I wonder if my sister went to school today
Me: ...Dallas county is on lockdown/quarantine
Nix: She goes to school in IRVING
Me: IRVING IS IN DALLAS COUNTY!!!!
Nix: no Irving CITY is in Irving COUNTY

Nixon: why didn’t u use my card to pay for lunch?
Me: oh I forgot
Nixon: uh huh, don’t think I don’t know what ur trying to do
Me: ...what am I trying to do?
Nixon: you’re trying to CLAIM ME as a DEPENDENT on your taxes next year!!!!
Me:

-eating beef tacos-
Me: this is so hard to chew
Nix: oh yeah that stringy stuff? I think that’s the placenta
Me: