hello 911 yes this is an emergency I love a sports protag and I'm questioning my entire sense of self. please send help

im having hiruma 'we cant focus on what we dont have; we just have to make the best we can with what with we do have' yoichi flashbacks

this is the weirdest thing to me rn.. I don't have any particular attachment to his design even, my love is purely based on his character...is this what not being a shallow bitch is like...
I don't know who I am anymore ....