"Most men don't marry the woman they love(d) the most. They marry the woman that is around when they are ready to marry".

I saw this shared on Instagram and wanted some male opinions on this. Is this statement completely false or does it hold some truth?

Interestingly I've received more messages from men saying it's somewhat true than messages suggesting it's false (even from married/divorced men). I guess this means the statement holds 'some' validity. Whether it applies to 'most' men like it suggests, is another debate...

...One thing guys are bringing up is that they believe women are just as guilty when it comes to marrying when it's convenient, as oppose to marrying for love. Ladies, is this true?

I've received some DMs from men who have said they're happy for me to post their messages about their own experiences. I have removed their usernames and photos. Also, I've been informed that the second message should say "deflect my demons", not "reflect".

I'm going to be sharing more anonymised DMs shortly, but before I do....

Married men, did you end up marrying the woman you loved the most or the woman who was in your life when the timing was right?

A few more anonymised DMs....

This guy says when it comes to the love of your life, sometimes you have to "either man up or let some other man have your woman".

"I married her because I know she's someone I could live with, without fear of heartbreak or cheating".

"I wanted to marry a girl but I made her wait about 2-3 years on me while I learned to become a man. Now we don't even talk because she feels like I was f*cking with her time".

"I think I will live my life a sad man forever, since I never took the chance to marry her last year. Now I believe I will marry any woman now. "

I'm getting a lot of rather sad or regretful DMs. It would be nice to hear from men who ended up marrying the woman who originally worked with their timing, but are now happy and more in love than ever.

This man told me he's been holding this in for so long and thought he would take it to his deathbed

He loves his wife but married her after he couldn't marry the love of his life...

This is a three pager but it's totally worth the read.

"I became ready when she came into my life. She was the person I wanted to be with and it was up to me to meet her needs..."

Another long read but again...VERY worth it!

"If you find someone you love and that loves you back, who helps you be a better person, who pushes you to fulfill your purpose, don't wait till you have all the money in the bank, or until you have the house etc..."

"I broke up with her a year into the relationship due to fear of what I was getting myself into. It was too good to be true for me, so I decided to run away from it".

"My greatest loves didn't necessarily go hand in hand with being the best relationships".

Thank you to everyone who is being so honest and trusting with me. I have also received some DMs from women who want to share their thoughts and experiences. Below are three different messages:

"He wasn't Mr Right. He was Mr Right now".

This man says "fellas, if you think/feel/know she's the one, don't wait for some faux level of readiness before you let her know".'

This man didn't think he was ready, but says his love for his wife overruled that.

"I basically told myself you might not be 'ready' right now, but let's make some moves so that we can be ready and not waste time".

Three more messages from three different men...

This woman knows deep down that she's second choice and for her, it's all or nothing...

I just want to say a massive thank you to everyone who has shared their thoughts and experiences on this topic, both publicly and privately. I hope men and women have gained some insight from this thread. I know I definitely have.

I won't be sharing any more private direct messages within the thread because I'm conscious that it's quite long now but please continue to share comments if you're willing to speak on your thoughts/experiences publicly.

All in all, I think it's safe to say that marriage isn't always straight forward. We're all guided/influenced by different factors, which is why communication pre-marriage is so important. Even if you're not marrying purely for love, it's worth being open & honest about it

Hey guys! Over a year later and I’m back to bring you the 2019 version of this thread, but this time I ask WOMEN if they married the man they loved the most: https://twitter.com/t0nit0ne/status/1182025683763154944?s=21