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What did the nail gun murderer choose as his catch phrase?
You have nail.
You have nail.
What do you they say about the designer with a difficult personality?
"He can be reasoned with, after a fashion."
"He can be reasoned with, after a fashion."
What did they call it when the judgemental preacher's church started overcrowding?
Critical mass.
Critical mass.
What did the Jedi say to the padawan who couldn't stop getting ahead of himself?
Hold your forces.
Hold your forces.
What did the guy who plays Captain America name his all mage DnD party?
Mana From Evans.
Mana From Evans.
Why was the chemist upset with her co-workers?
They were working on her last nerve agent.
They were working on her last nerve agent.
Why were the ghosts' spirits so low?
Because they were in limbo.
Because they were in limbo.
What was the main complaint about the streaming service that only played movies starring both John Travolta and Nicolas Cage?
The interface.
The interface.
Why did the underwater civilization build a settlement for humans?
Because of all the calls for DiverCity.
Because of all the calls for DiverCity.
What did the avian alien that sold condiments out of their spaceship call their shop?
The Flying Saucer.
The Flying Saucer.
What did the woman who used to be queen say to her wilful son?
"It's because you're always on that throne!"
"It's because you're always on that throne!"
What did the stomach doctor that always had something to complain about name their farm?
Belly Acres.
Belly Acres.
Why was the vampire so invested in his logging business?
He didn't want to disappoint the stake holders.
He didn't want to disappoint the stake holders.
What did the brewer with an interest in aquatic mammals call his product?
Beluga Ale.
Beluga Ale.
Why did the lady who had a cardiac transplant stop eating all of her favourite oily foods?
Because she had a change of heart.
Because she had a change of heart.
What did the giant that ate human infrastructure say to his waiter?
This bridge is burnt.
This bridge is burnt.
What did the baker call the loaves she baked in deliberately distracting shapes?
Bread Herrings.
Bread Herrings.
What's the phrase for when an elf works hard?
Blood, sweat and ears.
Blood, sweat and ears.
What did the chatty midwife have a bad habit of doing?
Belaboring the point.
Belaboring the point.
What do Americans call a house with many bathrooms and/or kitchens?
Multi-fauceted!
Multi-fauceted!
What do you call the idea a chef has to sell cakes made by rabbits for profit?
A bunny baking scheme!
A bunny baking scheme!
What did the outlaw insist the typist include in his ransom letter?
A "sans-sheriff!"
A "sans-sheriff!"
What did everyone say about the crow that wouldn't stop being a delinquent?
He was a lost caws!
He was a lost caws!
What do you call the structure a haemophiliac builds to patch himself up in when he starts bleeding?
A blood shed!
A blood shed!
Why did the necromancer start raising the dead for profit?
She needed to make a living!
She needed to make a living!
What do you call the floor in a building where a legendary tale begins?
An origin storey!
An origin storey!
What do Scooby-Doo and the gang need to do before they're ready to face a villain?
They need to test their meddle!
They need to test their meddle!
How do you describe a pickpocket with tiny fists?
You say they're slight of hand!
You say they're slight of hand!
Why did the shapeshifter hate turning into pandas?
He found it unBEARable!
He found it unBEARable!
What do you call a young fish that is uncertain about a decision?
A MAYBE SHARK!
A MAYBE SHARK!
What did the investigator say about the sculptor that was murdered with their own art?
Their head was BUSTed open!
Their head was BUSTed open!
What did the river spirit say when they were broadcasting live on the internet?
Welcome to my liveSTREAM! https://twitter.com/forsorrows/status/1268632964981837824?s=19
Welcome to my liveSTREAM! https://twitter.com/forsorrows/status/1268632964981837824?s=19
What happened in the conflict between sculptors who make busts?
It came to a head!
It came to a head!
How does a person who hates pastries feel about places that sell them?
The DISS-PIES them!
The DISS-PIES them!
Why was the town one day filled with carpenters?
Because they came out of the wood works!
Because they came out of the wood works!
What do town planner perverts say when they're being creepy?
Show me your cities!
Show me your cities!
How do racing jockeys get out of stables if they've locked themselves in?
With brute horse!
With brute horse!
Why do mice experience so many microaggressions at work?
Because there are too many Rat Racists!
Because there are too many Rat Racists!
What's one thing all the scavengers in the wild try to keep up with?
Popular Vulture!
Popular Vulture!
Why couldn't the guard get into the barricaded watchtower?
Because of the barriers to sentry!
Because of the barriers to sentry!
Why are necromancers such good babysitters?
They get a lot of practice /raising/ the dead!
They get a lot of practice /raising/ the dead!
Did you hear about the god that was reluctant to hear prayers?
He didn't like doing it, but he was AMENable!
He didn't like doing it, but he was AMENable!
What do you call it when someone works best when angry?
Pique performance!
Pique performance!
Why does the devil just love buffets?
Because they all bear the mark of the feast!
Because they all bear the mark of the feast!
Why was the Eastern European alternate reality version of me in such a hurry to get me to their home country?
I don't know, but they were RUSSIAN me!
I don't know, but they were RUSSIAN me!
