1 Like = 1 Conspiracy Theory I Make Up On The Spot
Elvis is actually dead, but he died in 2013 living under the false identity "Paul Walker"
The citizenry of Portland, Oregon is actually the vanguard of a Sleestak invasion. They're all fucking Sleestaks.
High School Musical star Corbin Bleu is a Soviet sleeper agent.
Rogue One: A Star Wars Story contains subliminal messages about InfoWars' Alex Jones.
Kansas isn't real. It's a CIA psy-op.
Rage Against The Machine front-man Zack de la Rocha fulfills the Christian prophecy of the second coming.
There is a secret line of code buried deep in Amazon's "Alexa" AI that, when activated, will ingest your soul to power the time-travelling android known as Jeff Bezos.
The Transformers film franchise was the result of an extended mescaline trip by Michael Bay, who was convinced he was hallucinating the entire project until the 5th movie started shooting.
Actress Mila Kunis is a fucking werewolf.
George R. R. Martin's plan to become a world-famous writer is almost complete. He will soon move on to phase 2 of his plan, which is basically using the 7th installment of A Song of Ice and Fire to convert you all into Jehovah's Witnesses.
Australians don't actually have that accent, they're just fucking with us.
Ben Stiller actually died during the filming of There's Something About Mary (1998). The Farrelly brothers used ancient black magic to reanimate his body as the puppet of their demon-familiar. They have since lost control.
Every game of Connect 4 is connected to hidden Cold War-era Soviet warheads buried deep underground in Siberia. The proper combination will activate the missiles.
In 1887, a coven of French witches murdered the Demon Lord of Hell known as Abbadon in an epic battle in Paris, France. The demon's corpse is buried under the city, but his massive penis still rises up from the ground. They call it the "Eiffel Tower"
Ron Howard was born in Kenya. His birth certificate is a fake.
The real reason Michael Jordan quit the Bulls to play baseball for two years was because he lost a bet to Chicago gangster Meyer Lansky. Jordan bet Lansky that he couldn't convince Dennis Rodman to put on a wedding dress and marry himself.
Axl Rose's saliva cures cancer.
Jeb Bush's real name is JeBroseph Bushmaster.
Lil Wayne piloted all four 9/11 planes with remotes cleverly hidden in his grill.
President of Switzerland Johann Schneider-Amman underwent secret experiments to gain telepathic powers. The experiment failed, but still, it happened.
Contrary to popular belief, Mark Zuckerberg is not a robot. He's an elf.
Popular children's television show "Blue's Clues" host Steve Burns is also one of the Portland Sleestaks. So many fucking Sleestaks.
Fox News anchor Bill O'Reilly was the inspiration for Krusty The Clown, and also for the band Insane Clown Posse.
Snow was invented by Pope Innocent IV in 1249 as a way to fuck with the Dutch.
Zoologists have been, for over a century now, hiding the fact that whales have rocket-boosters in their fins.
While we're on the subject of "science," Big Dentistry has been suppressing evidence that using your own blood as toothpaste cures nearly all oral diseases.
Podcasts cause brain-warts.
If you've ever been to Hawaii, it's already too late for you. The coconut parasites have taken control of your brain.
Science-fiction writer John Scalzi includes, in every novel, subliminal messaging aimed at making Jar-Jar Binks your favorite Star Wars character.
Space isn't a void like NASA and *the government* have told you. It's actually an endless expanse of pure hate.
"Spin classes" actually don't exist. If someone is going to a "spin class" they're a spy and they're meeting their handler.
The United States of America is the longest-running reality TV show ever.
"They" are putting chemicals in the water that turn frogs g-

*someone off screen hands me a note*

"Wait InfoWars already did that one? Wtf?"
Vampires are real, but they're thin, frail, and can't hold their liquor.
With the release of Creed 2, the eighth film in the Rocky franchise, keep in mind that creating a 10th Rocky film will actually cause Hollywood to collapse into a singularity.
Perestroika only happened because Mikhail Gorbachev lost an epic game of Super Smash Bros. 64 against George HW Bush.
Carrie Underwood's real name is Rodney.
People in the 70s thought Rock music had satanic messages. They were wrong, it was country.
Starfox is based on a true story.
Every Steak and Shake restaurant has a portal to Hell in the basement.
Dragons we're hunted to extinction by the ancient Saxons, who ate dragons' testicles as a delicacy.
Golden Grahams cereal labels leave out one crucual ingredient: Leprechaun droppings.
After saving the universe from the evil Andross, Starfox retired to planet Earth to become the commercial mascot for Carfax.
George Clooney is the current head of the Trilateral Commission
Moving is a tool of the patriarchy.
Third party N64 controllers are used to control drone strikes.
Scientists predict by the year 2026, 19 of every 20 movies will feature Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson.
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom is a documentary about Scientology.
Brian Bendis is Lex Luthor in disguise
Pro Wrestling isn't fake, but Pro Wrestlers are. Each and every one of them is a robot.
Jeff Goldblum is the Goblin King
If you highlight every 3rd word in the script to Frasier Season 3 Episode 5 (entitled: "Kisses Sweeter Than Wine"), it will make a full explanation of how Kelsey Grammer is responsible for the fall of the Soviet Union.
John Quincy Adams was a Furry
Jay and Silent Bob
J n Silent B
J n le B
J. E. B

Timmon and Pumba were Sith lords, manipulating Scar and the hyenas so that they could befriend Simba and eventually become the power behind the throne in the Pride Lands
Anna Kendrick was the Goblin King before Jeff Goldblum's coup d'etat.
When Santa Claus gets bored in the off-Season (January-November), he comes down south using alias "Kid Rock"
The Illuminati are using Twitter Polls to reduce human intelligence. You'd think it's because it makes is easier to control, but in reality it's to drive up the ratings for "The Bachelorette"
Everyone has a doppelganger and most of those doppelgangers are fucking Dutch.
The US government has, since the 1950s, been supressing medical evidence that skimpy Halloween costumes increase your lifespan by up to 15%.
J.K. Rowling's 8th Harry Potter novel, "Harry Potter and The Curse of the Cleveland Browns" was turned down by publishers. The Browns haven't had a winning season since.
Al Gore once made out with Rodney Dangerfield.
Kanye West's brain was transplanted in 2014 with a Twitter algorithm. This was done by notorious mad scientist Kris Jenner.
British accents cause the listeners' brains to bleed.
There is an alternate cut of the 2017 Justice League film that was approved by director Za.... Wait.
No human has ever been born on September 18th. Anyone who has 9/18 as a birthday has a forged birth certificate and should be deported to the Netherlands.
Alex Jones' information was bad. The chemical he was talking about is actually turning *bees* gay.
MTV Cribs was cancelled not because of low ratings, but because of lawsuit threats from America's largest Baby Lobbyists.
The video game "Conker's Bad Fur Day" was based on an entry from Jennifer Aniston's personal diary.
American actor Chris Tucker is in charge of a secret Political Action Committee dedicated to legalizing Duelinge with old fashioned pistols.
The reason Elon Musk has gone so crazy lately is that he has pulled off his Bond-villain-esque plot of firing a laser from space at Sweden that destorys their ability to feel emotions. Now he doesn't know what to do with himself.
Chicago Blues-guitar legend Chester "Howlin' Wolf" Burnett was the inspiration for the Jedi Knights.
All Batman films and comics are a CIA psy-op to convince us that Batman isn't real.
Texas Senator Ted Cruz isn't the Zodiac Killer, but he is a world-class necromancer.
You can summon Eminem to do your bidding if you arrange the bones of exactly 7 human hands into the words "SLIM SHADY"
Former Indiana Basketball coach Bobby Knight is the current incarnation of The Buddha
Ariana Grande is actually a chihuahua.
Johnny from the Johnny Johnny meme grows up to be Johnny from The Devil Went Down to Georgia don't @ me.
The Mars InSight robot contains one of those magic seeds from Ferngully that will terraform Mars with fairy magic.
Jules Winfield's iconic "Ezekiel 25:17" speech was plagiarized from an unaired episode of Laverne & Shirley.
Most people think the President of the United States is the most powerful person on Earth. They are wrong. The most powerful person on Earth is Cardinals Offensive Coordinator Byron Leftwich.
The phrase, "once you go black, you never go back" was originally coined by Mr. Spock in the original Star Trek series, regarding the one-way nature of time-travel via black holes.
Mad Max: Fury Road is based on I-94 near Chicago.
Clippy never wanted to be your Microsoft concierge, but was forced to as court-ordered community service after his conviction for possession of cocaine.
Hartford, CT is a fictional town that exists in it's own pocket universe. This mini universe is accessable to real people because of a Faustian deal made by the Whalers hockey team in 1979. People from Hartford aren't actually real until they leave Hartford.
Any tweet with a "1 Like = 1 Answer" image is automatically logged by the CIA, the FBI, the BBC, NATO, and lots of dudes named Geoff.
Jeff Goldblum was one of the Teletubbies.
There's a secret society of dudes with extremely large heads and we get together to come up with ways to troll the rest of you.

They. I meant they.
The Statue of Liberty was originally supposed to be a dude and his name was Magnus.
The 2005 film "Doom" was originally supposed to be an adaptation of @TheRock's autobiography, but they decided to take out half the demons and pretend it was based on the video game instead.
Craig Brewer's 2006 film Black Snake Moan was adapted from the Disney Channel Original movie "Brink!"
There was an uncredited script-writer involved in the 2017 Justice League film. That writer's name? Weird Al Yankovic.
Chicago Bears Free Safety Eddie Jackson is actually X-Men Shapeshifter Mystique in a long-term undercover operation to take down the evil mutant known as Odell Beckham Jr.
During his experiments, Leonardo DaVinci gained the ability to turn into a baby and gain a full lifetime whenever he wants. Currently he's living under the alias "Jeff Bridges"
Bill Clinton defeated the ghost of Henry Clay using only a butter knife blessed by the Pope.
The NCAA Basketball Tournament is called March Madness because of the time in the 50s the entire University of California team took peyote before the match. Only the back up point guard avoided a lengthy asylum stay.
In 1969 Prime Minister of Canada Pierre Trudeau attached a sample of his blood to the outside the Apollo 11 rocket. When it came back, it had merged with a tiny alien. That alien grew up to be Justin Trudeau.
The government of Italy was taken over by Turtle Monsters From Deep Eldritch Places back in the 80s. The Nintendo Corporation has been trying to warn us for decades.
Ducks are all CIA informants. Every one of those quacking f***ers.
Gucci Mane can time travel. Not even he knows how he got this power.
Thomas J. Miles, Dean of the University of Chicago Law School, was the one that shot Tupac.
I'm not saying that the Olsen Twins did 9/11, I'm just saying it's suspicious that NEITHER ONE booked a flight that day.
The X-Files is a real department in the FBI, and they have a shockingly large file cabinet with the simple label, "Guy Fieri"
Unicorns are real, but people think they're fake. This is because almost no one who sees a unicorn lives to talk about it. Fear those horned demons. Fear them.
Manufacturers of cargo shorts and flip flops have, for decades, been dousing their clothes in a chemical that makes the wearers irresistibly attracted to acoustic guitars and maining Marth in Super Smash Bros.
Tariq Nasheed is an unfinished internet algorithm that came to life like Kelly LeBrock in Weird Science
Freddie Prinz Jr. caused the 2008 Global Financial Collapse. He did it for the lolz.
To really get into character for American Psycho, Christian Bale killed 9 people. Honestly I appreciate the dedication to the job.
The Climate Strike March was a massive CIA put up job to distract everyone from the Raid On Area 51
Ruth Bader Ginsberg is currently in possession of 3 infinity stones and is currently purchasing the existing lien on a fourth.
Ryu retired from Street Fighter and used his winnings to establish SoftBank.
John Williams and Hank Williams are the same person
40% of Gen Z can trace their lineage back to Rodney Dangerfield
Whoever retweeted this thread in 2020 is a CIA agent attempting to implicate me enough to bring me down. It won't work, Fed.
You can follow @Taconomist.
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