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I& #39;m thinking about the ableist autism parents and professionals that we (autistic people) encounter on here frequently.
I can& #39;t count the number of times an autism parent or professional has responded to my tweets about autism with ableism.
I can& #39;t count the number of times an autism parent or professional has responded to my tweets about autism with ableism.
Sometimes it& #39;s me who has responded to their tweets to try to educate them when they& #39;ve said something that& #39;s either factually incorrect or something that& #39;s offensive.
Sometimes people respond really well and it makes it worth doing, other times they don& #39;t.
Sometimes people respond really well and it makes it worth doing, other times they don& #39;t.
Sometimes it& #39;s low level ableism. Sometimes people don& #39;t realise that what they& #39;re saying is ableist. Sometimes it& #39;s just outright abusive.
I& #39;ve been told many times not to call autistic people autistic. This usually comes from a well meaning but misinformed place.
I& #39;ve been told many times not to call autistic people autistic. This usually comes from a well meaning but misinformed place.
I& #39;ve been told by non-learning disabled parents that my activism excludes people with learning disabilities. (If learning disabled autistic people told me this, obviously I would listen to them)
I& #39;ve been told that I& #39;m not autistic enough (or that I& #39;m faking being autistic).
I& #39;ve been told that I& #39;m not autistic enough (or that I& #39;m faking being autistic).
CW misogynistic slurs that may trigger gender dysphoria
I& #39;ve been called a b*tch and a c*nt.
I& #39;ve had threats of physical harm.
I& #39;ve had things happen on here that I& #39;ve reported to the police.
I& #39;ve been called a b*tch and a c*nt.
I& #39;ve had threats of physical harm.
I& #39;ve had things happen on here that I& #39;ve reported to the police.
The abusive behaviours aren& #39;t all the same but they all come from a similar place and that& #39;s what I want to talk about today.
I want to talk about how centering non-autistic people in autism leaves autistic people open to abuse.
CW for this thread: Abuse, ableism.
I want to talk about how centering non-autistic people in autism leaves autistic people open to abuse.
CW for this thread: Abuse, ableism.
Autistic people are more vulnerable to abuse. Both online and offline. And both online and offline the autism community acts in a way that enables that abuse.
People often talk about how autism impacts on the people around us. Usually what they& #39;re actually talking about is ableism.
For example, it& #39;s ableism not autism that makes people stare at autistic children and judge our parents as bad parents.
For example, it& #39;s ableism not autism that makes people stare at autistic children and judge our parents as bad parents.
So harm is caused by first of all by placing the blame on autism, which actually blames autistic people because autism does not exist independently of us.
People blame autism for their child& #39;s meltdowns and self-injurious behaviours.
People blame autism for their child& #39;s meltdowns and self-injurious behaviours.
This is harmful because it fails to recognise that there are reasons for meltdowns. Intolerable environments cause meltdowns. Overloads of stress cause meltdowns.
Meltdowns can be avoided and minimised.
Meltdowns can be avoided and minimised.
Blaming autism takes away responsibility.
Parents have a responsibility to provide their child with the right environment. Professionals/government have a responsibility to provide parents with what they need to do this.
Parents have a responsibility to provide their child with the right environment. Professionals/government have a responsibility to provide parents with what they need to do this.
It& #39;s difficult and expensive to provide autistic children (and adults) with environments in which we can thrive. This responsibility can& #39;t be put on parents alone.
The problem is that the autism community is pretty committed to this idea of autism as a tragedy and to the idea that autistic people suffering is inevitable.
It& #39;s not inevitable. All autistic people can live happy and fulfilling lives in the right environment.
It& #39;s not inevitable. All autistic people can live happy and fulfilling lives in the right environment.
So that is one way that the autism community enables abuse of autistic children (and let& #39;s be clear that it is emotionally abusive for autistic children to be in environments and situations that cause meltdowns).
Going back to my example of the child being stared at, often people assume that the autistic child does not notice and is not impacted.
Often it is assumed that it is non-autistic people who are hurt by the ableism that we suffer.
Of course they are hurt by it but so are we.
Often it is assumed that it is non-autistic people who are hurt by the ableism that we suffer.
Of course they are hurt by it but so are we.
This reinforces the idea that autistic people don& #39;t feel things.
We are often portrayed as emotionless.
When I was working in a day centre for adults with profound learning disabilities I was told that autistic people don& #39;t feel pain.
People really believe we don& #39;t feel things
We are often portrayed as emotionless.
When I was working in a day centre for adults with profound learning disabilities I was told that autistic people don& #39;t feel pain.
People really believe we don& #39;t feel things
That goes for both emotions and physical pain.
Often we don& #39;t show emotions in the same way that non-autistic people do and often non-autistic people can& #39;t identify how we are feeling.
Often we don& #39;t show emotions in the same way that non-autistic people do and often non-autistic people can& #39;t identify how we are feeling.
So talking about how non-autistic people around an autistic person feel about something that happened to an autistic person and neglecting to mention how the autistic person felt can be harmful for two reasons:
1. It reinforces a stereotype
1. It reinforces a stereotype
2. It may be that the person may actually believe that the autistic person doesn& #39;t feel things or notice things.
It& #39;s really important that the autism community stop reinforcing these harmful stereotypes about autistic people.
The idea that we don& #39;t feel things can lead directly to us being abused (example support workers being less careful about hurting physically disabled autistic people
The idea that we don& #39;t feel things can lead directly to us being abused (example support workers being less careful about hurting physically disabled autistic people
Or people saying hurtful things around autistic people because they believe the autistic person doesn& #39;t notice what they& #39;re saying)
CW autism cures, murder
And then of course we have the most extreme abuse:
Autistic people being murdered and autistic people being tortured, often by parents trying to cure them.
The autism community enables this abuse.
And then of course we have the most extreme abuse:
Autistic people being murdered and autistic people being tortured, often by parents trying to cure them.
The autism community enables this abuse.
Autism speaks once published a video of a mother talking about wanting to kill her autistic child. The child was there when the mother said this (which goes back to the harmful idea that autistic people don& #39;t notice what& #39;s happening around us).
The mother got sympathy from many
The mother got sympathy from many
in the autism community.
CW murder
When parents kill their autistic children they often get sympathy. People talk about how hard it was for them to parent an autistic child.
CW murder
When parents kill their autistic children they often get sympathy. People talk about how hard it was for them to parent an autistic child.
It& #39;s not that people shouldn& #39;t talk about how challenging it is to be a parent of an autistic child, because it is challenging when we live in a world that is not accessible to us.
The problem is the way this is discussed. The way the blame is put on the child.
The problem is the way this is discussed. The way the blame is put on the child.
And this brings me onto how the autism community online enable abuse of autistic people online and offline.
Autism parents often attack autistic people online. I know we all have our own stories about this happening and I& #39;m not going to centre myself by using specific examples.
Autism parents often attack autistic people online. I know we all have our own stories about this happening and I& #39;m not going to centre myself by using specific examples.
The common arguments are all easily disprovable:
1. Autistic activists/advocates are too "high functioning"
Within learning (intellectual) disability communities there is a strong self advocacy movement.
Many of the autistic people who are attacked would not be considered
1. Autistic activists/advocates are too "high functioning"
Within learning (intellectual) disability communities there is a strong self advocacy movement.
Many of the autistic people who are attacked would not be considered
"High functioning" by the people attacking them if they knew them offline. Some are non-verbal or only sometimes verbal. Some have intellectual disabilities. Many have high support needs.
2. "You don& #39;t speak for all autistic people."
Of course we don& #39;t. No one does. No one claims to.
3. "You ignore the needs of autistic people with higher support needs"
You only have to look through my tweets and tweets of other autistics to see this isn& #39;t true
Of course we don& #39;t. No one does. No one claims to.
3. "You ignore the needs of autistic people with higher support needs"
You only have to look through my tweets and tweets of other autistics to see this isn& #39;t true
The common thing with these arguments and arguments like them is that they designed to derail whatever we are talking about/campaigning for.
Why would the autism community do this to the autistic community? We are campaigning for autistic people not to be abused and murdered.
Why would the autism community do this to the autistic community? We are campaigning for autistic people not to be abused and murdered.
We are campaigning for more accessibility in society, better education, inclusion of all autistic people etc.
And the autism community continually derail these discussions. The continually try to silence autistic people if we have opinions that don& #39;t match theirs.
And the autism community continually derail these discussions. The continually try to silence autistic people if we have opinions that don& #39;t match theirs.
Silencing autistic people is a really good way to protect abusers and ensure that autistic people are unable to speak up about abuse.
I have a lot more to say on this topic but I& #39;ve run out of time.
I know there are people from the autism community reading this and feeling defensive and hurt my comments. No one wants to think they enable harm of people they love and care about.
I know there are people from the autism community reading this and feeling defensive and hurt my comments. No one wants to think they enable harm of people they love and care about.
Maybe sit with those feelings and think about why my comments hurt you. And when you realise that things hurt most when they& #39;re true, you could maybe try to do better in the future.
