On special at Lidl today:

• A vacuum robot
• A blood pressure monitor
• Kangaroo steaks
• A cocktail shaker
• A flame gun

If we could but live the lives that have been dreamed for us.

Lidl maintains its almost dream-like eclecticism, attuned to the least examined of our devices and desires. Today:

• An inflatable hot tub (seats up to four)
• An entire side of jamón serrano
• A basque set in apricot
• Anti-chafing salve
• A birdhouse with a veranda

On special today at Lidl.

• A haunted snow globe
• A solar-powered gnome
• Unitarian pasta shapes
• Night vision cheese
• Assorted ammonite fossils
• An infinite trombone

Look at these bling-ass toasters and kettles they have today. I bet even Kim and Kanye don’t have ones like these. This place is the nexus of all joys, I swear to god.

I also scored some salted caramel liqueur, which I’ll report back on. I can already tell you, though, that there is a huge buzz around this product at our house.

My homegirl literally sampling it straight from the bottle at lunchtime, just incredible scenes.

Guys, the Lidl salted caramel liqueur is like if Ben and Jerry had a meth lab. I would suck it out of a trauma victim’s sock, not even kidding.

*Files copy to Observer Food Monthly*

Reviving this thread because I don’t know about you, but I’ve never been more passionately ready to defend the sanctity of the middle aisle at Lidl.

They can prise my birdhouse with veranda from my cold dead fingers.

Gosh. That’s not worrying at all.