Have i told y'all the story of how one man almost killed everybody in a danfo on a Tuesday morning because of one phone call? No?
Here is the story.

In the bus...full load. Destination? Iyana ipaja. Current location? Super approaching ile-epo at top danfo speed. Suddenly 'ta ran ta ran ta ran taran'
One middle aged man brings out one funny looking nokia, picks the call, placing the back of the phone to his ears
'Hello'

Now. Nobody is paying attention. Why? The bus is hot and half of the passengers are in a hurry. Some people like me are drowned in deep thoughts but suddenly
'Ehn kilon je be...e je ko assasinate'
From the elderly man brings everybody to consciousness.

Assasinate? Assasi kini?
What can fa? On a Tuesday morning.
Now the conductor is looking dazed. The driver obviously didnt hear d man but d bus is quiet. The man jets off again
'A ni e ma ba mi soro yen, e je ki o assasinate, ti awon egbe reeh ban assasinate e je ko assasinate'

Wild? Now the driver has heard.
We are almost at ile-epo. Half of the bus is screaming
'Owa ooh'
'Oun bole'
The man cuts the call, sighs, hiss then says
'Driver Owa ni ile-epo'
Driver hits brake almost immediately. Bus goes gba ga gbi gi gboa gbi...

E bole ...e bole..
Nobody comes down. What?
I thought y'all wanted to come down now? No! Eh bole moh ni?
Nobody talks. The man says...
'Malo kin tele yin deh iyana ipaja tin ban kpa da bo kin wo wan'

Driver instantly accelerates like 'je kin lo ja hired killer yi le'

Now half of the bus chorus
'E je ki awa bole'

'A fe bole'
I kid you not the driver says
'Okoh yi o le duro moh..iyana ipaja loti ma duro..'
Now the bus is wild. Driver speeding...'vaaaaan'
Passengers sweating...then again.

Ta ran ta ran ta ran ta ran

'Hello aunty me..school ta fi peju si won ni peju o le assasinate'

Silence!

'E wo e je ki omo yen assasinate..gbo gbo nkan ti egbe reh ban shey ni ko ma shey..bi egbe reh ba assasinate..e je ko assasinate'

Cuts call. Silence

Suddenly from the back, one very fine looking chic taps the man.
'Daddy Assasinate koh..assimilate ni'

Ehn....we were already passed pleasure.
Approaching Almaroof...What?
Baba is not a hired killer? Wow.
Driver slams the brake...gbiiiiiii...
'Awon wo le fe bole'

I kid you not...
From Almaroof to Iyana ipaja was another swear march.
From the elderly women at the back.
'Koni dafun oyinbo...wa so yon di wereh se eko'
'Shey ejo baba wani'

So we survived.