I think maybe it’s time…

This reply to @steinekin (replying to @Neil_Druckmann) about #TheLastOfUs/part II seemed to strike a chord with people, and it’s made me kind of want to share a story I haven’t really told… https://twitter.com/seanfrancis/status/964670839768543232

I’ve always been an animal-lover, and pets have been family members the entirety of my life. I’ve also always been a gamer and passionate about art in all mediums, and animals in peril or killed in TV/films/books/games is my Achilles heel if ever I’ve had one…

I actively avoided stories where that was an element (and in the event I didn’t, it’s rare I’d ever go back; even if the fiction was “justified” for narrative progress).

And in games? I’d either avoid games with companions altogether, play them entirely differently, or let out a thankful sigh of relief when I’d discover my mistakes wouldn’t ruin my day. And then along came “The Last of Us”…

I’d heard incredible things about TLoU and what @Naughty_Dog had done for the medium…I’d had a watchful eye on it for quite some time, and had avoided spoilers. And I knew I was mostly safe playing it, because hey, my in-game companion was a HUMAN girl.

What I didn’t account for though, was that as I played through, I WOULD actually end up with an animal companion on my journey.

This, is Stella…

I’d always been more of a dog-person, but Stella was the first in my adult life, on my own. An ex-girlfriend and I had adopted her and nurtured her back to health together, but Stella let it be known she was “mine” and preferred my house.

When said ex and I broke up, it wasn’t really even a discussion. Stella was my best friend, and also the closest family I had on that side of the globe after my Father died.
So we soldiered on…
And life was good (until it wasn’t), and life got bad (and then much worse)…

One weekend, after a pretty exhaustive string of travel and work, I came home and decided to spend that free time digging into “The Last of Us” and lounging around with mah dog. And those days are burned into my brain. All of it. The weather. Smells. Heat.

Here she is, literally at my side as I played. She was there for the ride, glad to have me back and have me opting to be a shut-in for a few days.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but that summer was a lot of recovery from stuff that’d been going on in my personal life (coupled with years of working on huge, weird projects at any and every waking hour) coupled with strength-training for what was yet to come…

That next winter - late, late the night of my birthday - I came to peace with much of what I’d been dealing with over the years. It wasn’t an epiphany, there was nothing succinct about it, but something popped into my head as I was falling asleep that captured it all…

I posted it as a reminder to myself - a breadcrumb for future Seans looking for direction and needing a reminder to look for the light… https://twitter.com/seanfrancis/status/426996576226377728

The next morning, less than twelve hours after having posted that, I was on the side of the road with my knees in the snow, holding Stella and pleading with the universe not to take her from me.

A reckless driver had swirved into my lane, and while I managed to keep it from being a head-on collision, it was still catastrophic.
At first, when I got around to her, I thought she was already gone. But she came to, and I got her out and held her.

I was able to have that, at least.
I got to thank her, and tell her how good she’d been for me. I got to thank her for being such a good companion. I got to look into her sweet eyes one last time and say goodbye as I could tell she was ready to let go.

I carried her up the hill to the vet’s vehicle, stopped at the police line - who I’d called and who had rushed there to the scene of the accident. And that was the last time for a long, long time I could really look at a dog, let alone pet one.

Sometime down the road, my girlfriend at the time started TLoU (and stopped after the opening). That broke me pretty hard as I’d not seen THAT scene since I’d played it (which was well before the accident) and didn’t remember Joel saying “baby girl” (a nickname I called Stell).

And here we are. And I am about to hit “Tweet all” on this thread maybe no one will read, talking about something I’ve wanted to say for a really long time but never could bring myself to put out there publicly. And it’s all without planning, because of a random reply I made.

But if you did read this far, thank you. That actually means a lot. And however that delightful dog that @Neil_Druckmann posted a picture with is involved in “The Last of Us Part II”…I’ll be there. Because of what it all means to me.

Storytelling - through videogames or film or photography or stick-figure comics or whatever your output is - changes lives. It matters. It helped give me perspective and strength and fight. I thank you for not quitting. And I know Stella would too.