going to make a thread of things I have learned (I’ll update as I learn and realize) from trying to heal and how can you make conscious efforts to get better:

1. I cannot stress enough on ‘healing is violent’. When you have spent too much time with toxic coping mechanisms healing is not easy because it is out of your ‘comfort zone’. You feel nostalgic again and again to pick up on negative habits and patterns for temporary relief.

2. Self-harm of any type: physical, emotional and even spiritual brings that feeling of ‘at home’ but it’s not because it is ‘right’ or ‘the only way out’ for you. It’s because you have spent weeks, months or years holding on to them to make up for absence of proper help.

3. It is okay to not want to talk to other people but opening up with bits of information that might let someone in enough for them to offer support support is okay. And if you cannot do that, open up to yourself. Even you can only help yourself if you allow it.

4. Take away the power from your trauma. It is and will always be an important part of who you are but it does not define you. It can define choices, decisions and relationships with your consent. You contain your trauma, your trauma does not contain you.

5. At some point you have to actively struggle against your demons.
It got difficult to even get a glass of water without feeling overwhelmed so I started to tell myself “it’s just a few seconds task and your mind is deceiving you to believe otherwise”.
Try to not be passive.

personal is political is personal. it leaves you high and dry though. here’s a video that has always helped me pull myself in when I am handing out more of myself than I should.

This Is Water by DFW [you can read it too but the way he talks is amazing]

https://youtu.be/8CrOL-ydFMI ">https://youtu.be/8CrOL-ydF...

It’s liberating to finally face it. Sort of puts everything in perspective! I am so glad we’ve learned our lessons and I hope we continue to practice positive lessons everydayhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✊🏾" title="Erhobene Faust (durchschnittlich dunkler Hautton)" aria-label="Emoji: Erhobene Faust (durchschnittlich dunkler Hautton)">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💙" title="Blaues Herz" aria-label="Emoji: Blaues Herz">