some rlly freaking funny things my friends & i have said this week:
"if you don't get enough sleep, you nightmare."
"alright which one of you put the hate mail in my locker"
"my shrine of men is missing a picture"
"we knew it was your locker, jack gilinsky's picture was on it."

week of december 4th:
-it’s not MY fault you’re not as hot as cameron dallas
-what are the dimensions of the matrix? APPLES!
-can you massage my calf
-make sure to lionize the milk
-“are you gonna swim in college?” “no! i’m gonna drown in college!”

week of jan. 8:
-i already suffered through the science fair, i can suffer through this
-she asked me for a piece of paper with an open notebook in front of her
-"it's the unit square!!" "allison...no...that's a circle"
-i come to school looking like a drowned rat

day of september 7th
“i am going to stab you with this micropipette”
“our sorority name is anti-pie-thigh”
“would they be mad if i take my pants off?” “dude...yes” “I HAVE SHORTS ON UNDER I SWEAR”
“yo julianne you could’ve pulled up more” “and you could’ve parked better jenna”

week of september 10th
-“what if you get married and your husbands last name is butt knuckle?”
-“i would NOT put my finger in that hole”
-“leslie! where are you!” “i’m on the field trip, what?” “i need you to park my car...” *hangs up*
-“are you with child or is child with you?”

week of september 17th
- “i learned how to choke this weekend!” “ooh! show me!”
-“on the drive home today he flipped me off while the top was down on his porsche”
-“i found a tab on molly’s laptop that said ‘is my dog okay?”
-“What if I slapped you with my e-coli glove?”