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Things a woman shouldn& #39;t say or do on the internet if she doesn& #39;t want to receive "Hey Pretty Lady" DMs. Thread incoming.
Don& #39;t have a remotely pretty profile pic. Not even if it& #39;s taken you 20 years to like yourself and you can finally take a compliment #YouWillGetDMs #HeyPrettyLady
Don& #39;t ever mention knickers. Especially your own. Even if it& #39;s because you just got pulled at Terminal 2 with 36 pairs #YouWillGetDMs #HeyPrettyLady
Don& #39;t be funny. Women aren& #39;t funny. If you think you are being funny, it& #39;s really cos you& #39;re looking for sex #YouWillGetDMs #HeyPrettyLady
Don& #39;t use the phrase "looking for sex". Even if you& #39;re being funny. See above. #YouWillGetDMs #HeyPrettyLady
Don& #39;t post photos you took yourself of a Rose you grew yourself as a homage to Georgia O Keeffe. This is a clearly a display of your genitalia #YouWillGetDMs #HeyPrettyLady
Do NOT post photos of bare breasted Roman statues in the hopes that a Roman Museum will reGram you on #insta. This is also a desperate attempt to have online sex #YouWillGetDMs #HeyPrettyLady
NEVER say that you lolled out loud at an unsolicited penis picture from a surpringly hot guy. This means YOU ARE A TOTAL SLUT #YouWillGetDMs #HeyPrettyLady
Do not mention that you have been collecting seeds out the back garden. This is a well known online euphemism for "I want it hard dude" #YouWillGetDMs #HeyPrettyLady
Never ever tweet "I want it hard dude". You are a raging nymphomaniac. I can& #39;t help you. See above #YouWillGetDMs #HeyPrettyLady
Do not say that your cat is a bastard. I believe your cat is a bastard. So is mine. But the word CAT is a secret signal #YouWillGetDMs #HeyPrettyLady
Do not openly hate Christmas online. This means you are looking for a man to show you the real meaning of Christmas. Invariably HIS PENIS #YouWillGetDMs #HeyPrettyLady
I could go all day. Don& #39;t say "I could go all day". Cos guess what ? #YouWillGetDMs #HeyPrettyLady
Never ever mention your arse. Even if it& #39;s so HUGE you can& #39;t move it . Arse is international man code for "there are single ladies and some married ones in your area right now just dying to talk to you". #YouWillGetDMs #HeyPrettyLady
Don& #39;t say bra. Especially if your profile pic has cleavage. Your bra holds your boobs. This means you want to send boob pics to complete strangers even though you& #39;re married and over 40 #YouWillGetDMs #HeyPrettyLady
Don& #39;t say you& #39;re going for a run or post a photo from your run of a squished frog. This means you& #39;re fit. Fit pretty ladies want it bad #YouWillGetDMs #HeyPrettyLady
Do not ever post photos of seagulls on Instagram. Seagulls are crazy birds. Therefore YOU are a crazy bird #YouWillGetDMs #HeyPrettyLady
Oh and finally. Don& #39;t mention German Supermarkets. This week I was Hey Pretty Ladied auf Deutsch. #YouWillGetDMs #HeyPrettyLady
Cleavage by the way includes your neck and any double chins you may have #YouWillGetDMs #HeyPrettyLady
