I have two months to try and get my shit together for my little sister & I before the new year.

Day 1: I started my second job, a lot of driving between both jobs but nothing crazy. Made bomb vegetarian chili for dinner.

Day 2: I need a planner, had 2 appointments scheduled @ the same time, plus work & drop offs Took the girls to see IT, they had fun

Day 3: Off from both jobs but had to spend the day on commissions. Found momma's planner in my car on my way to buy one, cried for an hr.

Day 4: Lost track of time at work and was a little late to my other job. Back and forth between jobs is hectic. Was knocked out by 10pm.

Day 5: Ran errands for my boss on E. Momma passed away three months ago. Overall shit day, I don't deserve the bad shit that happens to me.

Day 6: Another successful paint party, everyone had a blast! Off tmrw so I can finally work on commissions but I left my supplies at work.

Day 7: Survived my first week. At the cemetery telling momma all about it. Man, I miss her so much Got my supplies so commissions all day.

Day 8: Tried to quit The Nailary so I can put my business 1st but
Side note...died a little more inside & my bff isn't talking to me.

Day 9: Spent the day painting as well as pulled an all nighter, finally finished 3 commissions! 4 more to go, be patient with me!

Day 10: It was my day off but holy shit, I crashed around 5pm after that 18 hr paint session I'm only awake to eat, the girls made taco salad dreading work tomorrow, man. I'm tired.

Day 11: I drive passed momma almost everyday on my way to work so I sit in the car for 10 minutes and try to get myself together. I feel so shitty that it's making me physically ill. I have no one.

Day 12: Went to work with some personal shit on my mind but I kept myself together and did a great paint party, my ex dm'd on some bullshit & ruined my day even more...still calm. The next party was a "mommy & me" with girls my age and I broke down. Sitting in my car now.

Day 13: It was my day off and I had a terrible day but my grandma made dinner for everyone and I played cards with the family...felt like old times and felt great being around my mom's side of the family

Day 14: Survived my second week but can't visit momma today and tell her about it. Maybe tomorrow Uhh, starting a Bills piece for the locals.

Day 15: Took my little sisters to visit momma & someone removed all of her flowers My dad told me to go on welfare when I asked for help with my youngest sister...I flipped, tryna remain positive though. She's a great kid, his loss.

Day 16: Had to go to the DMV this morning but luckily it was a quick errand. Found more of momma's stuff while I was cleaning, cried then slept most of the day Pris went back to Mississauga while I was making dinner.

Day 17: Good morning, woke up and realized my mother's killer's court date it tomorrow. No update from me today just some pictures of her and our gofundme link https://www.gofundme.com/JessicaGarcia 

Day 18: Went to court again this morning, sat there for an hour & they rescheduled for the THIRD time! Jan 3rd is the new date...they get to spend the holidays with their kids & fam while my sisters & I have to go to a cemetery this holiday season

Day 19: Went to court again but this time it was for legal custody of Leyla. Freddie was outside of my apartment as I was getting into my bestfriend's car. Why is he not locked up yet!? I need to move.

Day 20: Another successful paint party, the biggest I've taught so far. It was overwhelming at first but they fed me so I had a great time lol I love my job!

Day 21: Survived my third week and again, I can't visit momma to tell her about it. Left the art gm I started back in Aug 'cause it was no longer motivating me to paint. It got messy & distracting as if my life isn't shit enough

Day 22: I teach at McKinley on mondays, the kids were actually great this time. Didn't take "after" pics of our sunsets though. Anyways, I don't have my car & I left my wallet so ya girl had to walk home after work. It took me an hour but I need the exercise so it was cool.

Day 23: My car's been off the road for a week now, I have 19 days to go walked an hr home yesterday & took the bus to Aloma today to paint with the kids...when I tell you I appreciate my car more than ever now! Omg, I can't wait to drive again

Day 24: prepped everything for thanksgiving dinner & made a bunch of coquito! Made way too much food for three people but I guess I'm just tryna fill this emptiness with something. Idk, I miss mom.

Day 25: It's our first thanksgiving without momma Spent hours cooking & minutes eating. Leyla's been in her room all day, she came out to eat with me though. Still in pj's & back in bad. So fucking miserable but I hope you guys are enjoying time with your families

Day 26: another successful paint party! Leyla and I received great news today, but it came at a price. Mixed feelings, we gotta make the best of it. Decided to sell hoodies with my art on it so stay tuned.

Day 27: Made broth with my turkey carcass to then make soup with some left over turkey...made turkey wing dip as well & STILL have so much left over! I made 15 lbs of turkey Thursday y'all, this will NOT go to waste!

Day 28: Wish I had my car so I can visit momma, Survived my 3rd week. I miss her so much, my heart literally hurts My bff came to hang out after weeks barely speaking, I've been avoiding everyone. Woke up early today to finish my most recent piece, Eyerus

Day 29: Taught at McKinley HS today, kids wanted to paint logos so I let them do whatever, wish I had more pics! The beauty teacher didn't have any girls in her group so she tried to steal from my group but they all said "But we wanna paint with Ms.Seniaaaaaa"

Day 30: it's honestly a blur...

Day 31: It's been a MONTH already and I'm in a slightly better place compared to Day 1, this has been odd and I felt vulnerable most days posting but I'm getting exactly what I wanted from this thread! There are good & bad days but I keep pushing through!

Day 32: Taught at Aloma charter school today. Jarael & I and split the kids, I had the girls. They were all on the drill team & loved princesses so we painted accordingly! Had a blast Also has a heart to heart with Jarael, my boss.

Day 33: YA GIRL RAN ERRANDS FROM 8AM TO 3:30PM. THATS A WHOLE SHIFT! Anyways, i was super productive today. Man, I love my god mother so much, she's been such a help since momma's passing

Day 34: Ya girl was throwing it back in the club...jk I taught a paint party there of all places. I couldn't hear myself instructing nor see a damn thing we had fun though.

Day 35: It's Sunday which means I've survived my 5th* week. Used to visit momma every Sunday but haven't in almost three weeks 'cause I don't have my car...I get it back next Monday though! I really miss her Was off today so I just cooked & cleaned.

Day 36: Taught at McKinley today & checked out an apartment, it was cute but smaller than my current apartment. Wrote out my business plan & I'm thinking about getting a business partner to bounce ideas off of but ain't no one reliable...idk

Day 37: Taught at Aloma...my knee almost gave out running for the bus

Day 38: Today was my day off so I stood up last night drawing. My bestfriend came over and we had a few drinks, about to end my night drawing again.

Day 39: Painted with the kids at Aloma again. Trey is making dinner for the second night in a row...I can get used to this lol I have two paint parties tomorrow so I'm gonna prepare for those soon then off to bed.

Day 40: Taught two paint parties today! Was at the studio from noon to midnight, spent the time in between parties working on some of my pieces. Trey came to the studio so we could get drinks & dinner across the street! Great day but I'm beat

Day 41: Taught two more parties tonight, my markers came in &I can't wait to try them out, I'm off tomorrow! Side note... I need to start stretching more 'cause my back be killing me!

Day 42: It was my day off & I did absolutely nothing. Slept damn near all day, depression naps are real. Survived my 6th week & I get my car back tomorrow so the first thing I'm gonna do is visit momma, it's been so long

Day 43: YA GIRL GOT HER MUHFUCKIN' CAR BACK! IT'S BEEN 26 LONG DAYS!

Day 44: Leyla's winter concert was today and the band did such a great job! Feels like momma & I watched her first winter concert just yesterday but it's been 4 years already. Love you momma, Leyla was great!

Day 45: I'm off for a week, Leyla and I basically ran errands all day & got dinner

Day 46: spent another day running errands with Leyla as well as getting a cake & balloons for Trey when it hits midnight! (In the middle of packing so excuse my closet lol)

Day 47: HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY! Trey opened his gift @ midnight but we got booze & lunch, went to the mall to get cute outfits to watch The Lion King then TGIF afterwads. I cried 2 minutes into the play 'cause we were unknowingly in the elephant row (momma's favorite animal)

Day 48: Didn't realize today was Sunday until after 5pm so I didn't visit momma today. I'll go tomorrow when I take everyone to school/work. Man, it's been so long. Survived my 7th week, other than that...just a lazy Sunday.

Day 49: Went to Joann's & got a big canvas & went grocery shopping. Simple.

Day 50: I need help with my sobriety...uhh on a lighter note I made chili for dinner & started a new piece

Day 51: I skipped a day, oops. Anyways uhh it's a blur. Idk.

Day 52: Worked on Stella all morning, napped & taught a paint party at like 7. Trey & I got wings after work, showered when I got home & took my ass bed like I ain't nap for 4 hours

Day 53: Went the thrift & mall with Leyla to get some last minute gifts. We decided not to put the tree up this year, doesn't feel the same.

Day 54: It's Christmas Eve & Sunday which means I survived my 8th week of this whole "me trying to get my shit together before the new year" goal...Still haven't visited momma, I find myself making excuses. Idk, seeing her grave just makes it all too real.

Day 55: It's Christmas...hope everyone's surrounded by family. Leyla, Trey & I exchanged gifts at midnight & I'm thankful for everything. Trey & I made Christmas dinner yesterday so leftovers for dinner! Anyways...Merry Christmas momma

Day 56: My sisters and I buried our mother with a locket that had a picture of the four of us. For Christmas, my boyfriend gave me a similar locket with a picture of momma inside. Ugly crying again.

Day 57: A couple days behind but...MY LITTLE SISTER TURNED 21 ON THE 27TH!

Day 58: Leyla and I went to Mississauga to pick up Priscilla for her birthday, spent the day in Mississauga/Toronto. I'm tired of all this drivingggg.

Day 59: Uneventful day, made bomb oven fried chicken though!

Day 60: Shoveled for about 15 mins looking for momma's grave. Someone took her flowers again Pris lost her wallet & I've been in a crappy mood since last night. Overall, bad day.

Day 61: Y'all...it's the last day before the new year & i have grown so much since I started this thread. I'm so glad I stuck to it. Thanks to everyone who supported & encouraged me to keep my head up! I wish nothing but positivity in the new year!

I was much more active with this thread than my 2018 one. I’ve just been through so much and the load isn’t lightening up. I am tiredddd.

Day 987: Its been a while but this thread reminded me how far I’ve come and I’m so grateful for every single one of you who’ve supported me. I was struggling but now I’m optimistic about the future