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hi, there's betrayal and then there's "my mom didn't let me have pets as a kid and i later found out she grew up with a pet monkey"
his name was martín and he was "very naughty" and obeyed only her
my mom claims she left peru for "a better life" and i had to tell her she was wrong.
she later admitted said "better life" was just "really wanting to check out disney world"
i wasn't allowed to have pets because we had carpeting. she told me "someone's allergic." her monkey used to ride with her on her motorcycle
MY MOM IS DRINKING AND TELLING MARTÍN STORIES 
so martín’s favorite thing to do was climbing trees and throwing rocks and big clumps of hard dirt at my mother’s sisters’ boyfriends and frankly, i’m #teammartín so far
i regret to inform you martín the monkey is canceled
it’s important that we all know martín was bigger than “the monkey on friends”
i think it’s important to note that i stopped filming right before my mom let us know her father gave martín to a pilot, who aimed to teach him how to fly a plane.
my mom has been telling me i need to visit peru for the longest time, and honestly, i’m this close to booking the flight, knowing full well the narrative leads to me locking eyes with and giving a quiet salute to a very old monkey pilot.
oh no i hope martín didn’t become a creepy old groper monkey
HOLY SHIT MY MOM JUST ADMITTED IF SHE HAD ANY SAY IN IT SHE WOULD HAVE NAMED ME MARTÍN
thinking about the old monkey pilot again
