Reconciliation is not always a virtue. Sometimes it’s a spiritual temptation that we need to resist. #teshuva

זָכַרְנוּ אֶת-הַדָּגָה אֲשֶׁר-נֹאכַל בְּמִצְרַיִם חִנָּם אֵת הַקִּשֻּׁאִים וְאֵת הָאֲבַטִּחִים

וְאֶת-הֶחָצִיר וְאֶת-הַבְּצָלִים וְאֶת-הַשּׁוּמִים

Num. 11:5 We remember the fish that we used to eat free in Egypt, the cucumbers, the melons, the leeks, the onions, and the garlic.

We were slaves in Egypt for centuries. On the way to the promised land, we faced the temptation to reconcile and return to slavery.

If you’ve left an abusive relationship, you may know what it’s like to yearn for lost fish and forget the price you paid for them.

You’re not alone. The fish and cucumbers matter. It’s ok to miss them. Even people liberated from Egypt fell into that.

It’s hard not to go back. It’s hard to remember that, yes, it was that bad, and yes, you deserve better.

Especially when your whole community is preaching forgiveness like it’s the end all and be all of morality.

Especially when people familiar with your situation advise you to go back. It can be so hard to hold on to your sense of self.

Especially when the person who hurt you is known for their amazing garlic garden and you have to hear people praise their fish pond.

It’s hard, especially at this time of year, when our community focuses so intensely on the power of forgiveness and reconciliation.

There’s more to #teshuva than forgiveness. Teshuva is the work of turning away from sin and doing better.

God doesn’t want you to hate yourself. Sometimes #teshuva is about figuring out how to remember that you matter.

God doesn’t want injustice to be the norm. Sometimes #teshuva is figuring out how to keep fighting.

If an approach to #teshuva is crushing you, it is not the right approach for you right now. Destroying yourself is not teshuva.

You matter, and you have the capacity to do good in the world. Do what you can to figure out how. That’s teshuva. /thread