#TenderIsTheStorm I'm going in!

That seems...implausible. #TenderIsTheStorm

Another twin book? Auuuugh. #TenderIsTheStorm

Billy seems nice. #TenderIsTheStorm

Enjoyed the prologue. The journey picks up a few years later, with our genteel heroine. Will I like her? Let's find out! #TenderIsTheStorm

And...another book where one sister is marrying a guy her sister loves. Don't these people TALK to each other? #TenderIsTheStorm

MORE PURPLE EYES! Is Sharisse related to the chick from #SilverAngel? #TenderIsTheStorm

She tells dad her sister loves the guy she's supposed to marry and this is how he reacts. RUN AWAY!! #TenderIsTheStorm

#TenderIsTheStorm She runs away to Arizona and takes her cat. Who hates the heat. The cat is all like:

Heroine thinks the hero looks ruggedly male. Shit. She gone. #TenderIsTheStorm

HE HAS GLOWING YELLOW EYES GIRL THAT AIN'T NORMAL. #TenderIsTheStorm

And now she's performing wifely duties. CLEANING AND COOKING YOU PERVS. #TenderIsTheStorm

Lol. In this book St. Louis is considered 'back east,' which seems so weird to this Illinois native. #TenderIsTheStorm

Boners. He means boners. #TenderIsTheStorm

Wouldn't be a Lindsey without an irrationally jealous female adversary. #TenderIsTheStorm

Sam Newcomb, the villain, is said to be handsome but I keep picturing him like this. #TenderIsTheStorm

Twin brother wants to bang heroine. NO THAT'S NOT SQUICKY AT ALL. #TenderIsTheStorm

And he appears to be a sexual predator. #TenderIsTheStorm

Assholes gonna ass. #TenderIsTheStorm

But it's okay now because hero and heroine just banged under the stars. MAIDENHEAD UNLOCKED. #TenderIsTheStorm

Oh good, a verbal catfight. JUST WHAT OUR STORY NEEDED. #TenderIsTheStorm

I've just figured out part of the ludicrous subplot. Uuuugh. #TenderIsTheStorm

SEXUAL PREDATOR SO GROSS. #TenderIsTheStorm

Now hero and heroine are married, though neither one wanted it. I'll spare you the details. #TenderIsTheStorm

Methinks you're gonna want to read that letter, dumbfuck. #TenderIsTheStorm

Heroine is now back in NYC but misses the hero because they're in love or some shit. Also, she's attracted to his twin. #TenderIsTheStorm

Meanwhile hero is in France, beats up the dude who broke heroine's heart and is now going to NYC for vengeance? SEXYTIMES? Pizza? Who knows?

But is it hero or his twin? Who can help us solve this mystery??? #TenderIsTheStorm

AND NOW HERE IS THE PLOT TWIST THERE ARE NO TWINS THERE IS ONLY SLADE. #TenderIsTheStorm

I'll admit it. She got me. Great twist. #TenderIsTheStorm

WAIT WHO IN THE WHAT NOW? #TenderIsTheStorm

She had TWINS and no one mentioned it until the second to last page of the book??? #TenderIsTheStorm

"I'll tell you all about the kids you didn't know you had but let's bang first. The End." #TenderIsTheStorm

Now I've finished all three books in my WTF Lindsey Trifecta Weekend. My thoughts...

AND I HAVE MANY OF THEM. #TenderIsTheStorm

I was lucky enough to read them in order of their shittiness...Fires of Winter was the worst, Silver Angel was marginally less shitty, and +

#TenderIsTheStorm was the least shitty book. Which, granted, isn't saying much. I would have enjoyed it more if it hadn't gone OTT.

Let me tell you about my first Lindsey. CAPTIVE BRIDE. A totally WTF sheik (UUUUGH) romance that went cracktastic bonkers at the end.

The kind of first read that sets you off an author for a good long time until you decide to accept the WTF and try again. So I did.

With ONCE A PRINCESS. I chose poorly again, and abandoned Lindsey. But then I read some less WTF books and accepted her for what she is.

But #TenderIsTheStorm went the CAPTIVE BRIDE route - it could have ended with a mildly WTF ending and not go too OTT with SECRET BABBYS.

Especially in the last two fucking PAGES, FFS! SO ANNOYING! Without that I would have called #TenderIsTheStorm a moderately good read.

But crack is wack, my Romance Twitter friends. And so my final gif thought on this weekend's reading is...

Tomorrow my brain and I shall recover with a nice Mary Balogh. No live tweeting (I know you're devastated). Hopefully next week STORMFIRE!!