CW//

Sxn took a deep breath. It was so tiring constantly trying to be the big tough one. Cameras always on him, knowing his image was constantly in flux.

He knew people speculate about what his dream girl is like. If not, they speculate which of the members +

He would dominate. But deep down, poor Sxnnie wishes he could shout that he doesn’t want to be the big strong one. He wants to tell everyone that what he craves is to be loved, taken care of, and feel safe.

He sits in his hotel room, having donned an oversized sweater with+

Only boxers underneath. After snapping a few pictures he flops onto the bed. He begins to tear up. The blankets aren’t right, the diffuser didn’t smell good, and he knew that like always, he would struggle to sleep without his stuffed dolls to cuddle.

He doesn’t know how long+

He laid there feeling sorry for himself, until he heard the door open and close. Usually he would scramble to put pants on and wipe his tears away, but he lacks the energy, knowing it’s just Wxx.

“Sxn, are you okay?”

Wxx spoke softly, and sat on the edge of the bed. He was the+

Only one who knew how deeply sensitive Sxn was, and how sometimes he needed to be taken care of; no matter how much he insisted otherwise.

After a beat of silence Sxn sat up, wrapping his arms around his legs and resting his face between his knees.

“I don’t know anymore Wxx.”+

“I’m tired and we don’t get any alone time. I miss home which is stupid because we tour all the time, and I just- well I just want a break.”

Wxx’s eyes softened, and he got fully into the bed, wrapping his arms around his favorite person.

“We have all night together, promise.”+

The tears are really pouring now as Sxn melts into the hug. After a good ten minutes they shift and suddenly the air in the room is hot. Sxn thought he must be mistaken, but against his thigh, he felt his best friend straining against his pants.

As soon as Wxx realizes, he +

Recoils, spilling apologies and saying he’ll leave.

“Please.”

Sxn is quiet, his eyes squeezed shut in fear he’d be told no. After a bit of silence, he whispers again.

“Don’t go, need you.”

He looks up at Wxx, who seems shocked, but still hard as steel.

“I- are you sure?” +

Sxn shyly nods, his face a deep shade of red. He relaxes in the bed, trying to covertly make sure his sweater covered his own crotch.

They had talked about this before, all of the guys have had small escapades, a handjob, making out, nothing more. Wxx knew that Sxn had always+

Been willing to help others, but never accepted their touch. He secretly thought he saw the desperation of someone who needed someone else in control.

“Okay. I’ll stay-“

Sxn let out a large sigh of relief.

“But we have to talk first okay? I don’t, well uh, I don’t wanna+

Kiss and have you get me off.”

Sxn looks heartbroken, already beginning to retreat into himself at the rejection.

“I wanna help you Sxnnie. Don’t pretend like I haven’t seen that look in your eyes anytime someone else gets babied or loved on. I know you pretend to hate touch+

And love but you need it deep down. If I’m gonna do this with you, you have to let me help you.”

Shakily Sxn nods his head.

“Baby, I need you to tell me why you haven’t let other people do this with you, and what you want to do with me.”

Sxn takes deep breaths at the mixture+

Of shame, excitement, and anxiety settling deep in his gut.

“I-“

More deep breaths before he can actually answer, the words coming out faster than he thought, all his thoughts just spit out.”

“I’ve never let anyone touch me because I’m embarrassed about myself and that if I+

Do everyone will think I’m a freak. I love all of you so of course I help you because I like to help but if I ever took it further people would know, but you will find out sometime and, and, so I’ll do whatever you want me to, just please, please don’t go.”

Wxx is frozen for a+

Minute, taking time to process the words that just spilled out of his beloved. He carefully responds, knowing Sxn is being really open and vulnerable.

“You don’t have anything to be embarrassed about with me puppy. I don’t know what’s eating at you, but I want to help, and yeah+

Of course I’m attracted to you. You’re beautiful, smart, hilarious, cute and you know that you’re my favorite person on Earth. I know you want to just do whatever I want, but I need two things from you okay? I need you to tell me a word you can use to tell me to stop. I won’t be+

Angry, we’ll stop right away and I’ll help you however you need. The other thing is well, I just need to confirm that you know that I like being in charge, and I can do that as soft or hard as you want, but I can’t be submissive.”

It take Sxn a minute to respond. He called him+

Puppy? He said he want cute? HE WANTS TO BE IN CHARGE?!

Sxn moves down the bed, sitting back in what he hopes is an appealing pose.

“I want you however you take me, and I’ll tell you ‘hold’ if I need to stop. Just, please, I need-“

His mouth is caught in a kiss, he whimpers+

As Wxx opens his mouth, deeply and passionately taking control. As they seperate, a string of spit connecting their lips, Wxx says with a dark look in his eyes:

“I know just want you need puppy”

I wanna keep going but this is super long, so lmk if you want a part two!!! :)