Naseeha for the brothers from the perspective of a woman

1) Compliment the women in your life:

Your wife will dress up for you. I’ll talk about hijab in a second but even if she doesn’t observe hijab, she will still get dressed up for you. Compliment her & guide her towards proper hijab KINDLY.

If she covers herself completely then compliment her even more. Tell her that her jewellery looks nice, she did a good job pairing the outfit, her hair looks beautiful, etc. Value how much time & effort she spends to look good only for you.

Also, compliment your mothers, sisters and daughters. Women need attention. As a leader, make sure you give them the attention they require to also prevent them from seeking it somewhere impermissible. Compliment her every single day even.

2) Give kind naseeha:

Men can get very harsh with their naseeha. If you treat a woman roughly, it will do the exact opposite. I will never be able to stress this point enough. Please be kind to your women. Give soft naseeha. Be gentle with her.

Don’t accuse her of anything, don’t emotionally torture her. Be careful with your words, she hurts easily. You can have good intentions but your execution is the only thing that will matter to the actual result. Don’t make the sin worse for her.

3) Appreciate the food made for you:

It feels great to just see people enjoy the food you make but it feels even better when they encourage you. ‘Did you make this? Wow’ it’s as simple as that.

This comes under making your mother happy. Everyone should do this.

4) You can learn from a woman:

You can learn sabr, kindness, softness from a woman if you pay attention. So pay attention to the women around you.

You can also learn various aspects of knowledge. So teach her & learn from her. It will surprise you.

5) Listen when a woman speaks:

If she comes to you when she’s sad, just listen to her talk. No need to give her any advice unless she asks for it. Unless she’s falling into gheebah or any other sin, don’t stop her. That will be more than enough.

6) Act upon your knowledge:

Men love to seek knowledge. It’s fitrah, right? Act upon it too. You’ve studied the character of Rasulullah ﷺ, let that show in your actions, spend time with your family, treat your family well, treat your companions well.

You strive for knowledge so you know the harm in not exercising, being lazy, overeating, so take care of your health. You know that knowledge can harden your heart, so spend time with children & try to keep your heart soft. You know to not indulge in riba. Strive for halal money.

You know Allah hates filthy speech, so adorn yourself with good speech. You know shaytan loves arguments between spouses so think rationally & don’t let fights exceed the limit.

Do not ever think you know enough, always seek knowledge.

Next point is related.

7) Go to the masjid:

Go to the masjid for every fardh salah. This point doesn’t need explanation but it’s very important for obvious reasons. Understandable if you’re working, etc.

Let your children grow up in masajid & let them learn this trait from their father.

8) Stop justifying free mixing:

‘I was giving her naseeha’ you’re on an app where multiple women are already aiding the woman you’re trying to help. Avoid interaction as much as possible.

9) Stop fighting with random women online:

Treat Muslim women with respect. They are honourable. Do not use rude words. https://twitter.com/binthabibahh/status/1471869071591358466

10) Remember the rights of a woman:

The quote about wives supporting their husbands poverty is circulated very often here. It’s a great narration. But make no mistake, it’s your duty to work your hardest to support your family. I’ve seen people here use that quote to mock women.

But understand the depth of it. Men have duties. Be men and fulfil them. If you sit, do nothing, don’t try to change your living situation, then are you really doing your duty? Your wife has rights over you, are you fulfilling them?

11) If you’re bold enough to ask her for marriage, you’re bold enough to speak to her father. Don’t mess around. ‘I’m not ready now’ ‘I’ll speak to your father later’ ‘we don’t need to talk until I speak to your father’. Don’t waste her time.