8 subtle ways you make yourself invisible in people's eyes

- thread -

There are downsides to always being visible.

But there are many reasons we'd want to stand out too.

If you don't want to fade into obscurity, read this:

1. You are predictable.

There's a reason Picasso became so famous, and his pieces sold for such high prices.

He kept himself in the public eye, but he struck the right balance between visibility and unpredictability.

He constantly changed his style, and this caught everyone off-guard.

If people know your next move, they lose interest.

2. Hesitant.

Once you've made a decision, whether it's to pursue a new project, contribute in a meeting, write an article, or go on that date, you need to be bold and fluid in your movements.

This signals confidence, not only to those around you but to yourself too.

This results in a positive feedback loop that raises your status and feeds into your identity as an assertive and attractive human.

3. Overlook small aesthetic details.

It may seem inconsequential to forget to iron your shirt, comb your hair, or cut your nails, but these details get noticed.

Always be aware of the message you transmit in all that you do.

People are surprisingly well-attuned to picking up on these little things.

The small details hold more power than brazen displays.

Now you need to find the balance in addressing the superficial while not being overly self-conscious.

4. Overly visible.

The more you are seen, the less visible you become.

Your presence is stronger in the mind than in the flesh.

This means that when you aren't there and you are missed - this is when you feature more strongly in the emotional experience of others.

This is why strong relationships thrive on occasional absences.

Strike a balance between being seen in person and being remembered in mind.

You become more visible by occasionally making yourself invisible.

5. Fit in.

Most of us subconsciously dedicate our lives to being like everyone else.

We learned that pain is attached to standing out.

We can't bear the idea of banishment from the crowd. But to stand out is to gain an unfair advantage in a homogenous world.

You must develop your quirks and own your 'strange.'

You needn't be a walking freak novelty. That's try-hard.

Just demonstrate fearlessness in your uniqueness, whether in your appearance, talents or behaviours.

This will lift you far higher than the masses.

6. Talk too much.

I barely spoke in class at school, and I was generally invisible.

It wasn't until later in life that I learned the value of contributing but not giving too much away.

Let others make mistakes by speaking too much, thus appearing ordinary.

Not you.

Maintain an air of mystery by withholding information and listening more, like a clever cat.

This increases people's interest to the point they are dying to ask you questions.

7. Take sides.

Those who turn heads demonstrate a refreshing individuality that others seem to lack.

Those with a compulsion to back up one team, argue for a cause, or pledge allegiance to a particular faction inadvertently give up their power.

There's nothing wrong with this per se, but those who garner the most attention are rarely disciples of any one doctrine or dogma.

They take only one side: their own.

This independence, bordering on the aloof, draws people to you.

8. In a hurry.

Unless you're in an emergency, hurrying suggests you are not in control of your reality and lack faith in your abilities.

This applies to your speaking style, physical movements (I can struggle with this after a few coffees), and your general approach to life and its challenges.

Impatient rushing doesn't just lower your status; it frustrates others.

Slow down, and you transmit confidence.

This calms you,

calms others,

And makes life considerably easier.

RECAP

8 subtle ways you make yourself invisible in people's eyes:

1. Predictable
2. Hesitant
3. Overlook small details
4. Too visible
5. Fit in
6. Talk too much
7. Take sides
8. In a hurry.

Thank you.

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