Ok so I'm thinking about this AU a lot rn and I can't get it out of my brain so I need to spitball here

Anyways. Mo Ran gets absolutely wasted with Xue Meng and Shi Mei after work one night and decides to post an ad online that offers his Services. It's pretty good considering his state at the time, but he obviously doesn't think anyone would be insane enough to take it serious

EXCEPT SOMEONE DOES.

Chu Wanning is browsing some forum or another (he uses the internet like an old guy, basically thinks its all just forums) and when he sees the ad he tries to ignore it entirely

It just...it keeps bugging him. In the back of his brain he thinks that since he's never been with anyone in his life then he wouldn't be very good at it and it's not like he has a seductive appearance on his side to at least make him worth the trouble

SO. In a very uncharacteristic act of acknowledging his desire to engage with another human being sexually, he messages the number attached to the ad

I even made a fake series of message for this bc I love to imagine cwn trying so hard to sound professional about being taught how to have sex

Mo Ran only reads & responds to cwn's message when he wakes up with a killer hangover btw. Immediately he finds the ad he'd posted and deletes it (he put his REAL phone number with it dear god he's so lucky he only woke up to one normal message and not 19484838 dick pics)

He arranges with cwn to meet somewhere very public and very easy for him to escape from if need be.

"Holy FUCK you're an idiot," Xue Meng stares incredulously when Mo Ran shares the details of the time/place.

It's a safety measure and Xue Meng is eager to point that out

"So. What? If you get murdered by some old creep who still uses FORUMS I'm just supposed to clean your fuckin' body up?"

"At least write something decent on my tombstone if that happens," Mo Ran whistles a jaunty little tune while checking himself in the mirror.

Xue Meng scoffs, "I'm writing that you were an idiot dog with a shitty haircut. You can't just meet random people from the internet you moron. That's how you end up in a docuseries."

"My haircut's not bad, you just suck. Have fun with the docuseries."

The pre-arranged place is an upscale café that Mo Ran can't even fully appreciate due to the anxiety screwing up his stomach. It's stupid and he knows the person meeting him is probably not even remotely his type at all, most likely it's just some old pervert who-

"Ahem," a man clears his throat from beside Mo Ran's elbow, "you are...from the ad?"

Mo Ran looks up and his breath catches in his throat.

"Ad?" His brain is so scrambled for a moment that he forgets who he is or why he is or what he is.

The man freezes up and a hint of red creeps up his face. He's pretty the way supermodels wish they could be, all too-sharp cheekbones and features that are almost unnaturally symmetrical.

"OH, haha," Mo Ran laughs, standing up so quickly he nearly bowls them both over. "Yes! I mean I'm the. That guy. The ad one."

The awkwardness between them is so palpable then that it dampens the immediate atmosphere tenfold.

Mo Ran gestures awkwardly, "Do you want coffee? A snack? I can, uh, get whatever you want. To drink I mean."

There's a hint of a pause then, "Just a latte will be fine. Thank you."

Mo Ran takes the opportunity away from the table to:
1. Get his shit together
2. Mentally berate his drunk self for setting him up for such an insane situation
3. Will his dick to not be at attention the way it is bc he's thinking a LOT about Pretty Guy's virginity

Once he's got himself in a slightly more normal state, he walks back to the table. He'd grabbed a slice of cake on the off-chance that Pretty Guy might like it and it's not lost on him how quickly it's zeroed in on.

"I got it for you." He tries for his most winning smile.

Pretty Guy briefly eyes it like it's a snake preparing to bite him, but the power of the small swirl of vanilla frosting with a strawberry on top seemingly wins out over whatever trepidation he (understandably) feels towards Mo Ran.

He's only taken the first bite when Mo Ran can't help but ask a question he is trying not to think of extremely hard.

"So do you want me to, you know," he raises an eyebrow, "privately assess your skill level? There's a hotel nearby-"

Mo Ran's interrupted by Pretty Guy coughing so hard it must hurt. The small dessert fork in his hand is dropped with a clatter.

Pretty Guy then rushes to stand and bows towards Mo Ran.

"That will be all. Thank you for agreeing to meet with me, I have to be going. Apologies."

Something big and panicky and...abandoned wells up in Mo Ran's chest. Without thinking he grabs for Pretty Guy's thin wrist.

"Hey, I'm sorry. Don't go. It's just that I can't be a good teacher if I don't know what exactly to teach you."

The logic of this does seem to actually give Pretty Guy some pause.

"I'm not making fun of you or anything, I swear," Mo Ran smiles gently. "It's just an assessment so I can put together a lesson plan. Common procedure with all my students."

The moral dubiousness of the situation definitely isn't lost on him as he talks like he actually has taught sex hands on before, but the more he drags out the lie the more he just wants to double down on it.

"I see." Pretty Guy slowly sits back down across from Mo Ran, avoiding eye contact with him entirely. "Will you require payment up front for the assessment?"

Mo Ran's mostly softened dick jumps UP to attention at the question for some reason. Won't look at that too much.

"It's totally free of charge for you. I have a soft spot for pretty faces."

Pretty Guy's wrist had stayed locked in Mo Ran's hand, but he only remembers that when he feels how his pulse picks up so fast it's like holding a scared rabbit.

There's an awkward moment of Mo Ran releasing that wrist out of concern for hurting Pretty Guy, while he seemingly panics a little and yanks it back.

Mo Ran stands and holds out his arm for Pretty Guy to take.

"I can stand on my own perfectly fine," Pretty Guy sharply rebuffs the offer.

Mo Ran knows Pretty Guy is definitely nervous based upon how fast his pulse was, but the rejection still tastes sour in his mouth regardless.

They get to the motel-which is pretty decent even if it is only used for illicit rendezvous-and Mo Ran rents a room at the very end of the long corridor.

He beams appreciatively at the woman behind the counter before heading towards...whatever he's about to do.

Once inside the room he shucks off his jacket and sits on the edge of the bed. Pretty Guy had followed alongside him in complete silence, only fidgeting with his fingers every so often.

He's nervous, so much so that Mo Ran actually feels himself pitying the guy.

Mo Ran pats the spot next to him, "Come sit. I won't bite, I promise."

Pretty Guy hesitates before slipping his shoes off and padding over to gingerly sit himself on the very corner of the bed, not looking at Mo Ran even once.

"You don't have to do this, you know." Mo Ran keeps his voice gentle to the utmost. "It's not like you're paying me for tonight, you won't lose anything. We can-"

"-No. I want to." Pretty Guy's thin shoulders hunch over like he's trying to hide himself. "I just won't be good."

Mo Ran hesitates before laying his palm against Pretty Guy's back and rubbing over his spine in small circles.

"I know the ad mentioned something about not exchanging names for privacy reasons, but maybe you should know mine?"

Pretty Guy tenses up so much that Mo Ran is sure he's done something wrong.

"...Can I?" Pretty Guy's voice is smaller when he asks.

"Mo Ran. It's Mo Ran."

Pretty Guy seemingly steels himself then and he faces Mo Ran.

"What do you need me to do for the assessment, Mo Ran?"

Mo Ran's brain goes blank when he's once again confronted with just how *pretty* the person staring at him is and how his name sounds different when it's being spoken by that mouth.

"Usually my students start with simple stuff. Have you ever kissed anyone before?"

Pretty Guy's face turns pink, then red, then pink again. "Yes. I have."

Mo Ran ignores the bizarre irritation he feels at that and smiles encouragingly. "Show me how you normally kiss then."

Pretty Guy tenses up even more. He takes a moment to think about something, then stands so he can stoop over.

The kiss is...very, very bad at first. Pretty Guy doesn't seem to know where it's safe to put his hands so they stay balled up at his sides.

He doesn't move his lips so much as he kind of rubs them against Mo Ran's awkwardly.

Mo Ran doesn't want to lead the kiss too much since he's supposed to be assessing here, but he just can't kiss like this.

The angle of his neck is too awkward and he knows Pretty Guy must be feeling it, too.

He holds Pretty Guy's chin so he can pull away briefly.

"Do you ever, uh, touch the person you're kissing? Like at all?"

Pretty Guy's hands shake a little when they are brought up to rest on Mo Ran's shoulders. Mo Ran smiles and pushes back some of the hair falling in Pretty Guy's face.

"You're not doing bad," he lies, "I can tell you're nervous since we don't know each other."

"Don't patronize me, Mo Ran." Pretty Guy's hands fist into his shirt. "If you have criticisms then just give them."

Mo Ran laughs and drops both hands so they rest on Pretty Guy's waist. "This is a test and I haven't even finished grading you yet. If you want to stop..."

Pretty Guy frowns at that. He seems to perceive any indication that he might want to stop as an insult to his abilities.

Mo Ran is only thinking of how to work this into an actual life lesson when Pretty Guy sits right down on his lap without warning.

This time the kiss is a little better for Mo Ran, but he knows he'll have to break some habits right away.

/Mo Ran/ likes the kittenish way Pretty Guy licks at his lips and tries to introduce tongue to the kiss. /Mo Ran/ likes how the inexperience makes it way too sloppy.

As a teacher though, he definitely can't teach Pretty Guy what pleases him alone. That'd be way more unethical than the lying already is.

Still, at least for the assessment he can appreciate how hot it is to feel Pretty Guy getting into the kiss. It's really, really cute.