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Jihoon prides himself as a person of logic, more often depends on brain instead of heart, fact instead of assumption. But even the most sense person alive can be caught overthinking in the middle of the night, exploring the great world of & #39;what ifs& #39;.
What if Jihoon hadn& #39;t picked up YG& #39;s call and missed the invitation for his second audition? What life Jihoon would be living today? The man smiles as his imagination takes control, transforming the darkened bedroom he& #39;s in into a green scenery of a university.
Jihoon reckons he would be living as a normal college student, working on a class presentation in broad daylight. He would& #39;ve close friends bringing him lunch in case he skips it, or a sweetheart surprising him with a kiss on the cheek since the man is too focused on the screen.
What if Jihoon hadn& #39;t been included in the final lineup of the survival show? Maybe life would be pretty much the same too. Study, graduate, work. Along the way, get as many promotions as he can get and marry that sweetheart before hitting thirty. Simple.
What if Jihoon changed his mind before the overdue debut of the group? What if he decided the wait isn& #39;t worth it and there are other dreams more enticing?
Then one day, he& #39;ll wake up in his own place in Busan, and as he turns on the TV, he& #39;ll see a new boyband introducing themselves as the next big thing. That group will show immense talent and synergy, but among the eleven members, that group will only have one leader.
And that is when his great world of & #39;what-ifs& #39; crumbles.
Jihoon abruptly stops his line of thoughts and sits up because it feels wrong to lay still and continue.
Jihoon abruptly stops his line of thoughts and sits up because it feels wrong to lay still and continue.
It doesn& #39;t matter if it& #39;s only imaginary but it still feels wrong to let his brothers of bond not blood alone in a industry that can make or break people overnight. The path isn& #39;t easy so his brothers need as much support as they can, much more the one carrying the flag to lead.
"What if I& #39;m not here?"
"Jihoon-ah, it& #39;s literally one in the morning," says the other line of the call, definitely regretting picking up the phone entirely.
"Jihoon-ah, it& #39;s literally one in the morning," says the other line of the call, definitely regretting picking up the phone entirely.
Jihoon wants to pity him, truly, but he can& #39;t stop his overthinking brain as much as he can& #39;t stop his arm from reaching out to his phone and dialing Hyunsuk-hyung when he& #39;s too deep in his head.
"Would the group even need me?"
"Jihoon-ah, pleaseeeâ"
"Would the group even need me?"
"Jihoon-ah, pleaseeeâ"
"As a leader? What if I& #39;m not with the group to begin with and they only got you? Would a presence of a second leader is needed or you all just go along fine without it?"
Hyunsuk gasps a laugh. "Wow. We& #39;re really gonna do this, huh?"
Hyunsuk gasps a laugh. "Wow. We& #39;re really gonna do this, huh?"
"Hyung," Jihoon says firmly, asking to be taken seriously. "Would you even need me?"
"As a leader?"
Jihoon nods, even though the older man can& #39;t see him. It takes a full minute of utter silence and Jihoon sitting on the edge of his seat nervously until he hears:
"Maybe."
"As a leader?"
Jihoon nods, even though the older man can& #39;t see him. It takes a full minute of utter silence and Jihoon sitting on the edge of his seat nervously until he hears:
"Maybe."
Of course, Jihoon goes straight to scowling and disappointed, "Maybe? For real?"
"Yeah, because you& #39;re not just a leader, Jihoon-ah," Hyunsuk explains, effectively shutting the younger man up.
"Yeah, because you& #39;re not just a leader, Jihoon-ah," Hyunsuk explains, effectively shutting the younger man up.
"Look, you& #39;re as much as one of us as the one in the front. You& #39;re not your position, Jihoon-ah, you& #39;re you. You& #39;re irreplaceable. There is no us without you," Hyunsuk says, and when he smiles, Jihoon can hear it. "No Treasure without Park Jihoon."
And just like that, his imagination is proven wrong. Hyunsuk& #39;s words spread across his chest and it feels a lot like love. Brotherly, platonic, romantic, whatever you want to name it. For Jihoon, whichever is enough as long as it& #39;s there.
"So yeah, would I need you? Like I said, maybe."
Jihoon grins ear to ear and flushed pink but don& #39;t tell his hyung that. "After all that and it is still a & #39;maybe& #39;."
"As a leader? Yeah, maybe."
"Uh-huh."
"As something more? Definitely."
Jihoon grins ear to ear and flushed pink but don& #39;t tell his hyung that. "After all that and it is still a & #39;maybe& #39;."
"As a leader? Yeah, maybe."
"Uh-huh."
"As something more? Definitely."
Jihoon rolls his eyes, though can& #39;t deny how his heart gallops for a second. Damn Choi Hyunsuk and his mouth. "Don& #39;t get my hopes up, Hyunsuk-ssi," he jokes back, "It& #39;s one in the morning. I tend to overthink a lot, y& #39;know? At this time."
"That would explain this call, then."
"That would explain this call, then."
Jihoon chuckles. "Yeah, just thinking about the & #39;what ifs& #39;."
"And what does your big brain tell you of a what-if where Park Jihoon end this call, come to my room, so we can talk more about other & #39;what-ifs& #39; in a more comfortable, cuddly manner?"
"And what does your big brain tell you of a what-if where Park Jihoon end this call, come to my room, so we can talk more about other & #39;what-ifs& #39; in a more comfortable, cuddly manner?"
Jihoon bites down the inside of his cheek to not grin so damn wide. "Sure, the big brain agrees," he says nonchalantly but they both know how Jihoon immediately leaps out of the bed and runs downstairs. The call doesn& #39;t end until he& #39;s right outside Hyunsuk& #39;s door.
So, what if something happens in the next minute? In the middle of their sluggish midnight talks, what if one of them reaches a hand and says something stupid?
Well, unlike Jihoon, Hyunsuk prides himself as a man of emotion, more often depends on heart instead of brain. And tonight his heart says no what-ifs are needed.
