Read on Twitter
How I Avoided An Argument With My Son Tonight
(And how you can do the same)
//Thread//
(And how you can do the same)
//Thread//
My son was playing basketball today and a pass hit his fingers.
Not surprisingly a few hrs later his fingers still hurt.
I asked him to get ready for bed and he said he couldn’t because his fingers hurt.
Not surprisingly a few hrs later his fingers still hurt.
I asked him to get ready for bed and he said he couldn’t because his fingers hurt.
“No problem” I said.
I told him “take this IBUPROFEN and when you feel better you can get ready for bed.”
Definitely a reasonable solution.
But it wasn’t to an 11 year old boy in a lot of pain.
I told him “take this IBUPROFEN and when you feel better you can get ready for bed.”
Definitely a reasonable solution.
But it wasn’t to an 11 year old boy in a lot of pain.
“That stuff won’t help me feel better, I’m not taking it.” He yelled at me.
He was wrong and I was right and boy did I want to tell him that.
I could hear myself saying “I’m 33 years old, your 11, I know what I’m talking about and you don’t.”
He was wrong and I was right and boy did I want to tell him that.
I could hear myself saying “I’m 33 years old, your 11, I know what I’m talking about and you don’t.”
That’s what my dad said to me and he didn’t convince me of anything 
Instead of saying that, I said “No problem, you don’t have to take it.”
Look at that, fight avoided.
But that wasn’t the end of it because his fingers still hurt and he needed to get ready to bed.
Instead of saying that, I said “No problem, you don’t have to take it.”
Look at that, fight avoided.
But that wasn’t the end of it because his fingers still hurt and he needed to get ready to bed.
What I said next is key.
“What are you going to do about your hurt fingers?”
Now the ball is in his court. I offered my solution, he didn’t like it (which is fine) but he needs to do something.
He needs to solve his on problem if he doesn’t want my help.
“What are you going to do about your hurt fingers?”
Now the ball is in his court. I offered my solution, he didn’t like it (which is fine) but he needs to do something.
He needs to solve his on problem if he doesn’t want my help.
He said, “I don’t know, nothing will make it feel better.”
I wanted to say, “yes, something will, ibuprofen, I already told you.”
But I didn’t say that, I knew it wouldn’t change his mind.
Instead I said, “if you decide you want to try the ibuprofen, let me know.”
I wanted to say, “yes, something will, ibuprofen, I already told you.”
But I didn’t say that, I knew it wouldn’t change his mind.
Instead I said, “if you decide you want to try the ibuprofen, let me know.”
That’s it. No argument.
No fighting.
Why do I need to tell him he’s wrong? I don’t.
Why do you need to tell your child their wrong? You don’t.
Why do I need to tel my son I’m right? I don’t.
Why do you need to tell your child your right? You don’t.
No fighting.
Why do I need to tell him he’s wrong? I don’t.
Why do you need to tell your child their wrong? You don’t.
Why do I need to tel my son I’m right? I don’t.
Why do you need to tell your child your right? You don’t.
I gave him a hug and said, “bud, I know you’re in pain. I want to help you. If you can think of anything I can do, let me know.”
Do you know what happened?
He was frustrated for about 10min, groaning and whining and generally acting like someone in pain.
Do you know what happened?
He was frustrated for about 10min, groaning and whining and generally acting like someone in pain.
He then said, “okay, I’ll try the ibuprofen”
I said, “I won’t work right away, but if you get ready for bed, as you get into bed, it’ll kick in and you’ll feel better.”
And that’s just what happened.
No yelling. No arguing.
No name calling.
Just love and care and patience.
I said, “I won’t work right away, but if you get ready for bed, as you get into bed, it’ll kick in and you’ll feel better.”
And that’s just what happened.
No yelling. No arguing.
No name calling.
Just love and care and patience.
