Thread by @Foone, oh hey I've always wanted one of these this is what aliexpress [...]

oh hey I've always wanted one of these

this is what aliexpress suggested under that item.
please tell me what's the connecting thread, algorithm

"weird puss y2k elegant office lady" is an anime I saw on VHS once, I think

I'm pretty sure the problem is that I rarely buy anything on aliexpress and the #1 reason I click anything is because the thumbnail is wacky and I'm like "WTF is that weird shit?"

the end result is that it is like HEY DO YOU WANT A USB DRIVE SHAPED LIKE A TOOTH?
OR A SEX TOY THAT'LL REALLY MAGNETIZE YOUR STRAWBERRIES?
OR A MATERNITY BRA FOR HANDS-FREE MILKING?
HOW ABOUT A MECHANICAL KEYBOARD WITH AHEAGO SHREK KEYCAPS?

this is neat. it's a little macintosh-styled external mini-display.
3.8" diagonal.
https://www.aliexpress.com/item/1005003235373784.html

and another model:
https://www.aliexpress.com/item/1005003493893107.html

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NO RECURSION ALLOWED

I saw the top part and was like OH GOD NOT MORE SEX TOYS but hey, it's weirder:
it's an Intravenous Practice Arm!

and an intubation practice kit.
this one has SMARTS so naturally I'm tempted to make it into a keyboard

this one has a serial port.
I wonder if that little device can play doom

I'm sure this is related somehow

fun fact: all babies come out t-posing

what

don't tell others, others don't know what's inside, surprise your partner

the true meaning of christmas

ahh yes, the best clothing possible, photoshopped candy wrapper booty shorts

it's funny when you hit an item like that and then all the suggested items are suggestive clothing with stuff like "yes daddy" and "daddy's lil slut" and then this

THE SEXIEST CLOTHING

the... lead singer of the artic monkeys?
I think there's a joke here I'm not getting

I like my coffee like I like my underpants: COVERED IN BEETLES!

bender

have you ever wanted your butt to have an anime girl face? sure, we all do!

you gotta censor some stuff, though. some things are just too explicit for aliexpress

although the same listing has the picture uncensored because I DON'T KNOW

"believe in uself tapestry Wall Hanging Astrology Divination Bedspread"

that is Miranda Cosgrove. of iCarly.

I have never hit buy it now faster in my life

RECOMMAND

imagine you walk into someone's apartment and see this

ahh, yes.
lesbians come in three varieties: femmes, butches, and Gibby

ahh, matching underpants.
that's... a thing

"picked for you"
ARE THEY? ARE THEY REALLY?

BTW lesbian gibby is apparently their #2 best selling product

perfect for decorating any church

yeah they definitely just imported a bunch of weird zoomer memes and printed them

I wonder how many Jesuses they have?

I thought they also had Snoop Dogg but upon closer look, he's clearly Mary, for some reason

I thought this was bad. I was wrong

because AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

STOP

I bet I know at least 5 people who own this

you should wear this to the jesus-with-gun church

the Q&A on that one is... a thing

hey quick question, why the fuck?

another lesbian! Gibby and Garfield. The fictional characters are becoming lesbians in alphabetical order!

also this one is only available in a men's cut

you ever see a shirt and you're like "ugh, this is horrible, and also I know someone I want to buy it for"?

clicking that one gave me a bunch of suggestions for Tom of Finland shirts, and...

this programmer one

finally some good forklift shirts

if you want to know what aliexpress is like
I searched "forklift shirt"
and this came up

MOVING ON

this shirt is banned on iOS tumblr

the best, most MS Paint shirt

CPOYRIGHT

either I fell into the even weirder part of aliexpress or I just had a stroke

3D Movie Maker rat! we have 3D Movie Maker Rat!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I bet this is a stolen version of a shirt design that Burger King shut down

finally a shirt that lets me show off my favorite thing:
windows xp

I take back my mockery, ordering now

what did I say about this just being zoomer memes?

skifree shirt!

and a monkey island alignment chart shirt?
this is definitely stolen and I probably know the person it was stolen from

gibby doom shirt

this came up when I searched "autism"

graphic design is my passion

oh good lord

I gotta stop before my head explodes.
Have some final pictures

if you want more, I have a bunch of links to other threads quite like this one on my wiki:
https://floppy.foone.org/w/Twitter_Info_Threads#Aliexpress.2Febay.2Famazon_is_full_of_Weird_Junk

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